The Super Bowl…A Gambler’s Dream!

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Only fools still bet on the actual Super Bowl.  The REAL fun is on stupid bets, called prop bets.  They let you bet on all the nonsense that surrounds the game.  Here are 11 unusual bets you can make on various online sports books.



1.  How long will it take Idina Menzel to sing the National Anthem?  The “over-under” line is set at two minutes and one second.  Sadly, you can’t bet on whether or not she’ll be introduced as Adele Dazeem.



You CAN bet on whether or not she forgets at least one word of the anthem.  ‘No’ is the overwhelming favourite at -700.  That means you’d need to bet $700 to win $100.  If you think she WILL, the “Yes” line is +450 . . . meaning you’ll win $450 on a $100 bet if you’re correct.



2.  Will Marshawn Lynch grab his crotch after scoring a touchdown in the game?  This is interesting.  Because of all the NFL’s threats, the favourite is that he WON’T, at -600.  If he does, the line is +400.


3.  What color will Bill Belichick’s hoodie be?  The favourite is . . . Grey.



4.  Will Bill Belichick smile on-camera during the game?  The favourite is ‘No.’



5.  What will Katy Perry be wearing when she begins the halftime show?  The favourite is ‘Skirt or Dress’ . . . as opposed to pants below the knees, or shorts above the knees.



6.  Will Katy show cleavage?  The overwhelming favourite is ‘Yes’ at -800.  No is at +450.  (Note:  On things like this, the book manager will rule on any ambiguity, and that decision is final.)



7.  How many times will Tom Brady’s wife Gisele Bundchen be shown on TV during the game?  The over-under is set at:  1.5 times.  With the lesser odds, and bigger payout set on Over.



8.  How many times will “deflated” balls be said during the game?  The over-under is set at three times.  With the bigger payout on the Under bet, not surprisingly.



9.  This is a wild one:  What will be higher?  Russell Wilson’s total passing yards, or the U.S. national average gas price in cents on the day AFTER the Super Bowl?  The favourite is that Wilson’s passing total will be higher.




10.  Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his interview?  The favourite is “teammates,” with 3-to-2 odds . . . followed by God, the fans or the city, the owner, the coach, and family.  There’s also 5-to-2 odds that he mentions NONE of these.



11.  What color Gatorade will be dumped on the coach who wins?  The favuorite is orange, with 3-to-2 odds.  Followed by yellow, clear or water, blue, red, and green.



(Hit up and for all the bets.  The lines may shift over time.  If you’d rather not gamble FOR REAL, you can print out this fun betting sheet to do with people at your Super Bowl party.)


OTHER NFL Randoms:  Tom Brady Has the Sniffles, Nikki Sixx Will Perform Naked If the Patriots Win, Several Predictions, and More



1.  New England quarterback TOM BRADY is suffering from a case of the SNIFFLES.  He says, quote, “I’ve had it for four to five days, my kids got sick, and my wife’s pretty sick right now.  I brought it, unfortunately, to Phoenix, but I’ll be fine.”



Apparently he’s using some “old remedies” like EATING PLENTY OF GARLIC.  (You can find a video report on that, here.)




2.  A couple of days after the usually reliable “Madden” video game simulator predicted a 28-24 New England victory over Seattle in Sunday’s Super Bowl, two more simulations have been released . . . and the results are split.



“The Predictalator” at ran 50,000 simulations, and found that the Seahawks would beat the Patriots 57.5% of the time, most likely winning by a score of 24-to-20.  The Predictalator correctly picked Seattle last year.



Meanwhile, Microsoft’s Cortana, the “personal assistant” found on their Windows phones, is calling the game for the Patriots, by a narrow 24-to-23 victory.  Cortana nailed the World Cup last summer.  (Random Note:  Microsoft’s headquarters are in Redmond, Washington, which is only a 30-minute drive from Seattle.)



So that’s “Madden” and Cortana calling it for the Patriots . . . and another series of 50,000 simulations calling it for the Seahawks.



3.  NIKKI SIXX from MOTLEY CRUE is SO sure that his Seattle Seahawks are going to repeat . . . that he’s willing to bet his CLOTHES on it.



He Tweeted, quote, “No way on Earth the Patriots can beat the Seahawks.  If they do, I’ll play a song naked onstage, and you don’t wanna see that.”



He later added, quote, “I’m gonna just keep tweeting about the Seahawks until every Pats fan un-follows me.”



4.  The Super Bowl spot for the upcoming sequel “Hot Tub Time Machine 2” was inspired by the so-called “DeflateGate” scandal.  (You can check it out, here.)




5.  And check out this Seattle Seahawks fan who painted his whole house in Seahawks colors.  Something tells me his wife . . . and / or neighbors . . . say they’re OK with this more than they actually are.  (Here’s a photo.  And another.)


Stupid Photo of the Day :  A Domino’s Ad Featured a Tongue Being Tortured in a Dominatrix Dungeon?



I wish brands were willing to take risks and make ads THIS edgy for real.  An ad agency in Israel created a print ad for Domino’s that they ended up rejecting . . . but probably should’ve gone with.


It was for Domino’s Sriracha pizza, and showed a tongue with a BALL GAG and bondage gear chained up in a dominatrix dungeon next to a whip.  And the slogan was, quote, “You’re going to suffer and enjoy every moment.”



But Domino’s didn’t end up going with the ad, and now they’re trying to distance themselves from it.  (Jezebel)


Remember—“Don’t let anyone steal your joy.”