The Durant Arms Race…

DURANT

 

Riders QB Darian Durant was at the Monday Night Game in Arlington, Texas last night to watch his brother LB Justin Durant suit up for the the Cowboys. It didn’t end well as Justin tore his bicep and his gone for the season. What a terrible year for the Durant brothers and their arms.

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Former Texas star Colt McCoy looked right at home in Dallas. McCoy put Washington at the 40-yard line to set up Kai (kye) Forbath’s field goal in overtime for a 20-17 victory that snapped the Cowboys’ six-game winning streak. McCoy was playing at the home of the Cowboys for the first time since his final college game in his home state.

The Cowboys didn’t just lose the game — they may have lost quarterback Tony Romo (ROH’-moh). Romo stayed on the ground for several minutes in the third quarter after turning backward and ducking as linebacker Keenan Robinson sacked the Q-B. Romo left the field but came back for a drive in the final two minutes of the fourth and played in overtime as well.

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

 

JETS FANS

 

A New York Jets fan knocked out a fan of the Buffalo Bills in the stands during Sunday’s game when he threw a punch.  It was the first time all season that a person in a Jets jersey threw something that actually connected..

The captain of South Africa’s soccer team was shot dead in his home.  “Uh, why is everyone looking at me?” replied Oscar Pistorius.

 

HOLLYWOLF REPORT…

 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE has reportedly dumped CHRIS MARTIN because he’s still too close with GWYNETH PALTROW.  A source says, quote, “Jennifer just couldn’t compete and didn’t want to.  Chris is clearly not over Gwyneth and his main priority is his kids.  Jennifer really respects him, but she wants a man of her own.. .  He figured he could avoid the hassle of a relationship and just download her nude pictures like the rest of us.

 

 

 

Rapper Kanye West has reportedly turned down a $4.5 million-deal to stage a 3-week residency in Las Vegas NV. The lucrative package to perform 9 shows at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino would have netted West around $500,000 per concert, dwarfing the salaries of current Las Vegas residency stars like Britney Spears and Celine Dion. But word has it ‘Ye turned down the offer down flat.

 

 

Led Zeppelin – After offering deluxe reissues of their first 3 albums in June, “Led Zeppelin IV” and “Houses Of the Holy” get the same treatment this week. Both albums have been remastered by Jimmy Page and come with a 2nd disc of previously unreleased music..

 

 

 

LARRY KING did some more random, late-night Tweeting on Sunday.  Here are a few of his thoughts:  Quote, “Sue me, but I don’t like buttered popcorn” . . . “I used to be able to name every member of the U.S. . Senate” . . . “Can you hum rap music?” . . . and, quote, “Bring back the miniskirt!”  “I’ve never driven a tractor.” “I don’t know why, but I’ve never enjoyed drinking water.”

 

 

 

STAIND singer AARON LEWIS is apologizing for botching the National Anthem before Game Five of the World Series on Sunday.  Aaron says, quote, “All I can say is I’m sorry and ask for the nation’s forgiveness.  My nerves got the best of me, and I’m completely torn up about what happened.”  (It isn’t often that someone actually apologizes for screwing up the National Anthem. Good for you Aaron!)

 

 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  At 48, CINDY CRAWFORD can still take a pretty hot no-makeup selfie.

 

 

 

2.  JESSICA ALBA even looks sexy in golf gear.

 

 

 

3.  HILARY SWANK wears a bikini better than most 40-year-olds.

 

4.  This bikini pic JENNIFER LOPEZ posted is so hot it might actually break up some marriages.

 

 

Playboy.com collected some “Hilariously Accurate Movie Descriptions” from Twitter.  Here are some of the best ones:

 

 

“Home Alone”:  Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child.

 

“The Mighty Ducks”:  A drunk driver is forced to supervise a group of children.

 

“Teen Wolf”:  With the help of special effects, a Canadian dunks a basketball.

 

“Frozen”:  A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children.

 

“Back To The Future”:  An elderly scientist helps a teen travel back in time to make out with his mother.

 

The Kardashian family claims Lamar Odom is missing.  Um, I know this sounds crazy, but has anyone thought to check the local crack-house?

 

Andy Richter is 48 today.  The trick is to get his lips off Conan O’Brien’s ass long enough to blow out his candles.

 

THE CYBER SPOTLIGHT

 

 

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” . . . in the Style of 20 Different Singers

 

 

A guy named Anthony Vincent runs a YouTube channel called Ten Second Songs, where he covers popular songs . . . but every ten seconds, he starts singing in a different voice . . . like Kurt Cobain or Frank Sinatra.

 

 

Usually it’s a song by someone like Katy Perry.  He’s only been posting videos for about six months, but he already has almost a million subscribers.

 

 

And his newest video should put him over the top, because he did Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” for Halloween . . . in the style of The Spice Girls, Marilyn Manson, Stevie Wonder, Ozzy Osbourne, Rick Astley, and 15 more.

(Search for “Thriller – 10 Second Songs.”)

 

 

 

  Someone Put a GoPro on a Bottle of Whiskey, and Passed It Around a Wedding Reception

 

 

This might end up being the next big thing at weddings . . . it’s also a good way to make sure everyone you know gets that COLD you’ve been fighting.

 

 

For a friend’s wedding, someone bought a bottle of Fireball, which is that cinnamon whiskey.  Then they attached a GoPro camera to it, and passed it around the reception.  So every time someone took a swig, they were essentially taking a selfie.

(Search for “Wedding Fireball Cam.”  The bride takes a drink at 1:58.)

 

SEXY EBOLA?

I guess this was inevitable . . . but that doesn’t make it any better.

A Halloween costume company is now selling a SEXY EBOLA NURSE costume.

The company behind it started selling an Ebola Containment Suit costume a few weeks ago . . . we’re surprised it took them this long to crank out a “sexy” version for people who don’t fully understand the definition of “sexy.”

The costume features a tight, short white dress with a biohazard logo on it that says “EBOLA.”  It also comes with one of those hazmat breathing masks, eye goggles, and blue rubber gloves.

If you want the costume . . . and you should NOT want this costume, by the way . . . it’s $59.99.  You can throw in another $49.99 if you want yellow boots to go with it . . . and you’ll need to drop around $25 for express shipping.  (Buzzfeed)

 

TUESDAY TIDBITS….

FAT SUITS ANYONE…

 

Walmart got a lot of heat yesterday when someone noticed their website had plus-size women’s Halloween costumes listed as, quote, “Fat Girl Costumes.”  It took Walmart a few hours to change it, and they apologized . . . it’s not clear how it wound up on their site.

 

BRING IT TO YOUR ROOM OR IT’S FREE!

 

There’s a photo online from a guy named Dave, who was so hungover last week that he asked Domino’s to deliver his pizza all the way to his bedroom.  He left specific instructions for how to do it when he ordered online . . . and the female driver actually DID it.

 

GOOD NEWS…

 

A four-year-old boy in Utah named Ethan Van Leuven has cancer, and doesn’t have much time left.  So last week, his entire community celebrated Halloween early, so he could trick-or-treat.  They also had a parade for his fifth birthday, and celebrated CHRISTMAS early, with over 150 people singing carols in his front yard.

 

“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you.”