–This weekend BILL BELICHICK spent a lot of time conducting science experiments and simulations to determine how the footballs lost air pressure on their own, and blames it on climate, game day conditions, and how the balls have been handled leading up to the game. He said he’s “handled dozens of balls” over the past week . . . and that vigorous ball-rubbing could stimulate the football. He went on to say “I’m not a scientist. I’m not an expert in footballs . . . or in football measurements. I’m just telling you what I know. I wouldn’t say that I’m Mona Lisa Vito of the football world, as she was in the car expertise area, alright?” And yeah, that’s a totally random reference to “My Cousin Vinny” . . . where MARISA TOMEI plays Vinny’s fiancée Mona Lisa Vito, an expert on car repairs.
–BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY is not buying BILL BELICHICK’S scientific theories. He says, quote, “[It] didn’t make any sense. I don’t think you can change the pressure [by rubbing the football]. To really change the pressure you need the inflation needle.” It’s worth noting that Nye is a Seahawks fan.
–Seattle Seahawks cornerback RICHARD SHERMAN says he knows that New England isn’t going to be punished for deflating footballs . . . because the team’s owner Robert Kraft is buddies with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.
When asked if he thought the league would do anything, Sherman said, quote, “Probably not. Not as long as Robert Kraft and Roger Goodell are taking pictures at their respective homes.
“I think he was just at Kraft’s house last week for the AFC Championship . . . you talk about conflict of interest.”
That doesn’t seem like the smartest thing to say publicly about your BOSS, but Sherman isn’t really known for biting his tongue. (Here’s video. And here’s the photo of Goodell at Kraft’s house last week from the Patriots Twitter feed.)
–Last week, the NFL hit Seattle Seahawks running back MARSHAWN LYNCH with a $22,000 fine for once again grabbing his crotch. (Even though it’s possible he was just handling himself a little to check his own PSI.)
The NFL is also threatening to penalize the Seahawks 15 yards during the Super Bowl if he does it again. So, that’s why it’s strange that the NFL was caught selling a photo of Marshawn grabbing his junk for $150. For real.
The NFL Shop was selling a collage of photos from the NFC Championship game, and it included Lynch’s crotch grab. It was probably somebody’s mistake to include it though, because now the image has been removed from the shop.
–According to a new study, about 1-in-4 Americans (26%) say that God DOES play a role in determining which team wins a sporting event . . . and 53% of people believe that God rewards athletes who have faith with good health and success.
—A 47-year-old guy in South Carolina got stopped by the cops last week, and when they searched him, they found marijuana and a New England Patriots drug pipe. No, the NFL doesn’t license drug paraphernalia . . . the guy was arrested.
OTHER BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…
–Mike Tyson says he admires Mussolini. Though to be fair, I’m pretty sure Mike Tyson thinks “Mussolini” is a type of pasta
Here’s One of the Craziest Hockey Goals You’ll Ever See
Russia’s version of the National Hockey League had their all-star game this weekend. And during the skills competition, a player named Nikita Gusev had one of the craziest shootout goals you’ll ever see.
He put his stick through his legs, did a full 360, and THEN shot it, all in one motion. (Search for “Nikita Gusev Scores Wicked Shootout Goal.” It happens at :23, but you have to see it in slow-motion at :40.)
A VICTORY FOR LAZY PEOPLE
This guy is a hero for everyone who wants to just lie there during sex, but doesn’t know the right way to ask.
There’s a guy from Australia named Shaun, and he just posted a doctor’s note on Reddit.com. Apparently he blew out his back, and needed the note to get out of physical labour at his roofing job.
But while the doctor was writing the note, Shaun had him throw in a provision about SEX.
The note says, quote, “He will be unfit to continue his usual occupation or sexual services. Shaun can only take part in sexual activity flat on his back with minimal effort on his part.”
That part about “sexual services” sounds weirdly formal . . . we’re not sure what’s up with that. Maybe his doctor just has a good sense of humor?
Anyway, the note covers January 22nd through April 23rd . . . three months. There’s no word on what his significant other thinks of it. (Reddit)
A Woman Said the Wrong Answer on “Wheel of Fortune” . . . Then the Next Player Guessed the Same Thing Two More Times
On Friday’s “Wheel of Fortune”, two letters were still hidden in the puzzle, “The Painted Desert”, when a woman named Lindsey guessed “The POINTED Desert”, which was obviously wrong.
But then the next player was even worse, because he guessed the same thing AGAIN . . . TWICE. It was during a speed round, where you can guess multiple times.
First he guessed “The Pointed Desert”, which was still wrong. Then PAT SAJAK said he had time for another guess . . . and he guessed the same thing AGAIN. It seemed like he probably forgot how the speed round works, and just got confused. (Search for “Wheel of Fortune – The Pointed Desert.”)
A Guy Does 100 Impressions in Under Four Minutes
A guy named Brian Hull posted a video on YouTube where he does a hundred different impressions in 3 minutes and 42 seconds . . . or about one every TWO SECONDS. And most of them are pretty solid.
(Search for “The 100 Voice Impressions Marathon.” He starts at :30.)
RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE WEEKEND…
–I was in Weyburn on Sunday to watch the Bantam AA Blues win their 5th game in a row. I talked to several local people close to the Red Wings and they all said there’s no chance the club will fold.
–I like the Ricky Foley trade. Shea Emery should bolster the middle of that Riders defence and the team should be able to replace Foley with an import rush end. Hey wasn’t Emery the guy who punched Labatte in the junk in a game at Mosaic Stadium? That should make for an interesting first team meeting! Even though Foley is headed back home to the Toronto area he is disappointed to be leaving Rider Nation. I’d like to take a second to say good luck Ricky and thanks for doing your part to bring a memorable championship to Saskatchewan. Foley is a class act and a reporter’s dream.
–Thanks to the Pats and Access 7 for asking me to be involved with the broadcast last Friday. After a pair of weekend losses the club has dropped five straight. But I do see bright things for this team in the future with the likes of Jesse Gabrielle and Sam Steele. Of course all of the talk after the game was about the new score clock. Understandably, the 6484 fans in attendance were gazing at the new spectacle all night long. Personally I enjoyed the Pats Karaoke, and Kiss Cam features during the intermissions. Your next chance to see the team and the nicest clock in Canada is February 3rd.
–The NHL ALL STAR WEEKEND is a complete waste of time. The worst part was the breakaway challenge on Saturday. What a boring joke! The NFL PRO BOWL was worse. It’s glorified flag football. Every league should look at abolishing ALL STAR games. I’m sure most of the players would rather have the time off.
One driving note:
–I will never understand why a motorist would risk many lives by passing one vehicle on a single lane highway. Trust me getting to your destination 2 minutes early isn’t worth it!
WIN THE DAY!