The kind of boobs that you like can tell a lot about you . . . and science can prove it. Salon.com put together a list of seven supposedly “scientific” facts about breasts. Check ’em out . . .
1. The amount of money you have dictates the kind of boobs you like. If you’re poor, you want busty cleavage. But if you’re rich, you like them small. Doctors think a hefty rack signals “fat reserves,” which appeals to guys with meager incomes.
2. Hungry men also like an ample chest. But if you’re full, you want a smaller chest. So your boob preference can actually fluctuate over the course of a meal.
3. If you don’t want kids, you ALSO don’t want a woman with huge cans. You want to steer clear of anything that reminds you of breastfeeding or fertility. But if you’re into big breasts, it’s probably because you want to reproduce.
4. Sexist men prefer humongous boobs. No surprise there. In fact, studies show that the size of a guy’s sexism roughly equates to his preference in breast size. And men who like giant breasts are the most hostile toward women.
5. Men who like small breasts want a submissive woman. Scientists claim men find flat-chested women, quote, “less threatening.” Small-chested ladies also might remind men of their “first love.” (Which is kind of sick when you think about it.)
6. Women with implants are three times more likely to KILL themselves than other people. But not until 10 years after they’ve had the surgery. No one knows why, but it could be that women who want implants in the first place are prone to suicide.
7. Bras actually cause breasts to sag. Studies show that the restrictive material in bras prevents muscle development . . . so breasts start to DROOP.
THE CYBER SPOTLIGHT
1. A Halloween Light Show Set to Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”
There’s a house in Naperville, Illinois that does one of those music-synced Halloween light shows every year. Last year, it was set to AWOLNATION’s “Sail”. (Naperville is a suburb of Chicago.)
This year, they did the light show to QUEEN’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” . . . and it’s pretty awesome. (Search for “Halloween 2014 Light Show. Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody. Thomas Halloween House, Naperville IL“.)
2. A Guy Dances Weirdly After He Gets Two Good Spins on “The Price Is Right”
Unless you’re unemployed or a 90-year-old woman, you probably didn’t catch “The Price Is Right” yesterday, and that’s a shame.
A contestant named Eliot got two really great spins on the wheel, which totaled to about $26,000 in prize money. To celebrate, Eliot did weird dances where he appeared to hump both the ground and the air around him.
On top of the 26-grand, Eliot also ended up winning an 11-night cruise to Tahiti, and a Mitsubishi Mirage.
(Search for “The Price Is Right Ground Humping Wheel Celebration“.)
3. Why Is This Washington Redskins Fan Holding a Crow?
At the Washington Redskins and Tennessee Titans game on Sunday, there was a Redskins fan in the audience pulling something you’d probably only see on “Game of Thrones”.
She was sitting in the stands, holding a CROW . . . and no one knows why. But she seemed to enjoy petting it and showing it off to the people around her. Someone posted a 15-second video of it on YouTube.
(Search for “Crow Lady Lands at FedEx Field.”)
BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…
Game 1 of the World Series goes tonight when Kansas City hosts San Francisco at Kauffman Stadium.
San Fran is trying to become the first N-L team to win three World Series titles in a five-year span since the St. Louis Cardinals of 1943-46.
Kansas City’s only title came in 1985. (To me, baseball is more like “America’s favorite nap time.”)
39 years ago . . . in 1975 – In Game 6 of the World Series, in the bottom of the 12th inning, Boston Red Sox catching chubby CARLTON FISK hit a ball deep to left field and “willed” it fair for the game-winning home run. But the Cincinnati Reds beat the Red Sox in Game 7.
WEIRD THINGS BANNED IN OTHER COUNTRIES….
If you think we’ve got too many laws in THIS country, here are six weird things OTHER countries have banned.
1. Lip-synching. Turkmenistan banned it in 2005 to preserve their, quote, “true culture.” They also decided that opera and ballet are, quote, “unnecessary”.
2. Ponytails on men. Iran banned them in 2010. And they basically said guys can’t have long hair in general.
3. Running out of gas on the highway. If you do it on the Autobahn in Germany, it’s a $100 fine. Then if you walk to GET gas, it’s another $100 fine, because walking on the Autobahn is ALSO illegal.
4. Dancing in clubs. It’s technically illegal in Tokyo after midnight. They’re talking about changing it before they host the 2020 Olympics though.
5. Porn stars with small breasts. In 2010, Australia made it illegal for porn stars to even LOOK younger than 18. So if you’re flat-chested and 50, you CAN be in a porno. But probably not if you’re flat-chested and younger than about 30.
6. Movies about time travel. In China, it’s illegal to watch movies or TV shows about time travel, because according to the government, it “disrespects history
ONE MORE TUESDAY TIDBIT….
Decided that my Halloween costume will be a slutty Peyton Manning.
QUOTE OF THE DAY….Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.