Monthly Archives: January 2015

Some Predictions And Other Stuff

It’s championship weekend in the NFL so let’s take a look at the matchups:


jon ryan

Packers at Seahawks

If Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers was playing with TWO good legs I’d give the Pack a real chance in this game. However I feel number 12 in a sitting duck and the defending champs are great against the run so forget about Eddie Lacey being the star. Seattle goes back to the Super Bowl with a 24-10 win.




Colts at Patriots

Before the season my buddy was in Vegas and bet on Indy to get to Super Bowl 49. He can win $2500 US so I’m cheering for the Colts because he might buy lunch! Actually I’m rooting for the Colts because I like Andrew Luck and of course former Rider Jerrell Freeman. Unfortunately I don’t see the Colts winning. This team can’t run the ball so Luck will have to throw it 50 times on Sunday. And that’s bad news for a team using it’s third centre this season. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick will make the trip to Arizona…New England 34 – Indianapolis 20. And once again I’ll be paying for lunch! Right Jason?


Time For Some January MLB predictions:

1-      Alex Rodriguez will have a mediocre season, of which every second will be documented at length by the ravenous New York media.

2-      The New York Mets will make the playoffs.

3-      The Cubs with their new manager Joe Madden will  be on a lot of baseball preview magazine covers this  March.

4-      Miguel Cabrera’s health will develop into a story. He turns 32 on April 18th and will be paid 31 million a year through 2023. Cabrera wasn’t totally healthy last year and he just had surgery to fix a stress fracture in his foot..

5-      The Padres made about 85 trades for players with big names and big question marks..Speaking of question marks how about their pitching? So they’ll  still be the Padres ( just a better version of the lovable losers! But as a fan I’m just happy they tried this off-season)






43 years ago . . . In 1972, the DALLAS COWBOYS beat the MIAMI DOLPHINS, 24-to-3, to win SUPER BOWL SIX.  Dallas quarterback ROGER STAUBACH completed 12 of 19 passes for 119 yards and two touchdowns . . . and was voted the game’s MVP.  (Tickets cost just $15.)








Albert Pujols is 35. Baseball superstar who left the St. Louis Cardinals for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. He’s proof you shouldn’t sign guys north of 30 to long term deals…


Roy Jones Jr. is 46.  One of the few modern superstars from the boxing world.





The Internet should hook us up with pictures of RYAN PHILLIPPE more often.  He’s looking seriously fine.




We should email these to Mike Huckabee:  Pictures of BEYONCÉ jumping off a yacht.




Here’s a bikini-clad MEGAN FOX frolicking in the Hawaiian surf with BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN.




Just because NAOMI WATTS is kind of late to the celebrity upskirt party, doesn’t mean we’re going to ignore these.



LISA RINNA looks just as good . . . or bad . . . as she did 10 years ago.  It’s a matter of personal taste I guess.  But the point is, she hasn’t aged.












BETHENNY FRANKEL is reportedly going to expand her Skinnygirl product line to include legal marijuana that’s specially engineered to not give you the munchies.  A source says, quote, “She read about how profitable the cannabis industry is and wants to get in on that.” (Two problems I see with munchie-free pot:  First, it takes away one of the fun things about getting high.  You know . . . eating an entire roll of raw Pillsbury cookie dough and not feeling an ounce of guilt until a few hours later. (And second . . . Do you think for one second the Pillsbury people are going to let this happen?  What about the dudes who make Funyons and Cheez-Whiz?  This’ll be over before she can even get it off the drawing board.)






Tara Reid and Ian Ziering Will Return for “Sharknado 3” . . . As if They Had Other Plans 



This probably isn’t really “news”, but I suppose it matters to a decent amount of people:  TARA REID and IAN ZIERING will return for “Sharknado 3”.  As if they had something else to do, right?



This time the sharknado will start in Washington, D.C., then move down the Eastern Seaboard.  There’s no word yet on a title or airdate.



“Sharknado 2:  The Second One” was Syfy’s most-watched original movie, with 3.9 million viewers.





Jennifer Aniston did not receive an Oscar nomination for her role in “Cake”:


. . . She hasn’t felt this rejected since . . . well, you know







Josie Davis is 42.  The “ugly” girl from “CHARLES IN CHARGE”!  Scott Baio probably nailed her anyway.)  (And after seeing how well she’s matured, you probably would too.  You might particularly enjoy #18 in this gallery.)






  1.   The Announcer on “The Price Is Right” Bit It on a Treadmill



Yesterday, the announcer on “The Price Is Right” . . . GEORGE GRAY . . . BIT IT while he was jogging on a treadmill that was a prize in a game called “Most Expensive”.



He was being goofy by jogging backwards, and it didn’t quite work out for him.  He’s okay though.  (Search for “The Price Is Right – George Falls Off a Treadmill.”)





2.  A Guy Drove Through a Car Wash at Full Speed



On Friday, an old guy in Sacramento, California drove through a car wash at FULL SPEED.  It’s not clear what happened, he was confused and slammed on the gas.  But from the video, he looks like he was doing about 30 miles an hour.



He ended up making it the whole way through, then crashed into a vacuum cleaner.  Luckily, he’s okay.  But the company . . . Quick Quack Car Wash . . . says it caused at least $60,000 worth of damage to equipment.



They’re taking it in stride though.  They posted the security footage to YouTube, and set it to their goofy jingle, like it’s an ad.  (Search for “Accident at Quick Quack Car Wash.”)




3.  Four Guys Pranked the Cops, by Telling Them There Was “Coke” in Their Car



Four guys in Venice Beach, California recently pranked two cops . . . by confessing that they had a bunch of COKE in the back of their SUV.  Then when the cops checked it . . . it was just cans of COCA-COLA.



Both of the cops seemed to think it was funny, but a spokesman for the L.A.P.D. called it a waste of resources.  Now the video is racking up thousands of hits on YouTube.



(Search for “Coke Prank on Cops.”  The cops start talking to them at :25 . . . one admits to having “coke” at 1:23 . . . and a cop finds the stash at 3:05.)



A middle school English teacher in Maryland is in trouble after she assigned her students an essay . . . where they described how they’d KILL her.  Her goal was to have them use the new grammar techniques they learned in a “fun” way . . . but it backfired, parents complained, and she sent a letter apologizing.  The principal wouldn’t specify how the teacher was disciplined.


After a car crash in 2004, a kid claimed he had a near-death experience where he went to HEAVEN.  And it was the subject of a best-selling book called “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven”.  But NOW, he says he made the whole thing up.  Ironically, his last name is “Malarkey”.


Police in Pennsylvania arrested a bank robber at a restaurant two blocks away from the bank he robbed.  In his defense, the sign outside did say, “Bank Robbers Eat Free.”










Can’t Miss Stories/Watercooler Wednesday

–This restaurant can only exist in China, where there aren’t any laws . . . because in Canad , this place would be sued within 27 seconds of opening.


A Korean restaurant in Zhengzhou, China called Jeju Island just opened and has a hell of a gimmick:  You can eat free . . . if you’re GOOD LOOKING.


When people walk into the restaurant, they’re photographed.  Then a group of local plastic surgeons judge their photos . . . I guess they don’t have anything better to do, or use it as free advertising?


And the first 50 attractive people for the day get their meal for free. 

( I’d starve for sure!)





–There’s a new website that ships an envelope full of GLITTER to your enemies.  It doesn’t sound awful on the surface, but the thing is stuffed with glitter . .  so when they open it, it will spill, which should lead to some annoying clean up.  It costs $10 to ship glitter anywhere in the world.





–It’s crazy to say this, but in 2015, a woman chopping off her husband’s junk isn’t INSANE news like it was with LORENA BOBBITT back in the ’90s.  We’ve seen countless penis choppings since then.


A 30-year-old woman in China found out her husband was cheating on her . . . so earlier this month, she CUT off his JUNK with a pair of scissors.  He was rushed to the hospital, doctors reattached it . . . then his wife snuck into his hospital room and cut it off AGAIN.  She threw it out the window and it’s gone . . . doctors think a stray animal took it.  She was arrested for grievous bodily harm.





–A 35-year-old guy in England was busted for selling tourists fake bottles of Jack Daniel’s.  It turns out he was just selling water . . . colored with human PEE and POOP.  He was given a suspended sentence of 70 days in jail for fraud.




–Dentist has been rated as the best job of 2015:

. . . I’d go with gigolo over dentist because of the kind of cavities they get to fill.



–The average person eats 5,952 pieces of pizza in their lifetime.  I guess YOU have nine lives, then.



–A new study shows optimism is good for your heart.  At least according to a fascinating article I read while lying on the ground, pounding my chest, and trying to prepare myself for another insufferable day at the office.


Do You Cry?

If you had to guess who CRIES more . . . men or women . . . you’d probably say women.  And you’d be . . . 100% correct.  Sometimes there’s no twist and things are exactly as they appear.



A new study of 5,000 people by Tilburg University in the Netherlands found women around the world cry at least twice as often as men . . . and for twice as long.



The average woman cries between 30 and 64 times a year . . . the average man cries between six and 17 times a year.



When women cry, it lasts for an average of six minutes . . . men cry for an average of three minutes.



The people behind the study have two theories on why women cry more than men . . . one’s “nature” and one’s “nurture.”



Women have a higher level of a hormone called prolactin that’s associated with emotions, and comes out in tears . . . so women are more biologically predisposed to crying.



And as we all know, society seems more accepting of women crying than men . . . so men may try harder to fight back tears than women.

I weep every 4 months when my wife agrees to let me touch her!




–“Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen” leads the Golden Raspberry Award nominees with SEVEN nods, including Worst Picture.  KIRK CAMERON’s “Saving Christmas” and “The Legend of Hercules” were a close second, with six nominations apiece.  And no Razzies would be complete without a Worst Actor nod for ADAM SANDLER.






–KHLOE KARDASHIAN has a name for her CAMEL TOE.  It’s CAMILLE.



Yesterday she posted a picture of herself in a skintight white outfit, and she included this in the caption . . . quote, “Camille the camel is trying to say hi!  I hope she listens today.”



Khloe has previously said she wears Spanx to avoid camel toe.  And it seems to be working for her in this photo, because while Camille is TRYING to make her presence known, she’s pretty much being held in check.









This is amazing:  BILLY JOEL playing his harmonica looks just like the dying Anakin Skywalker from “Return of the Jedi”.




BOB ROSS . . . that super-calm painter from PBS . . . didn’t always have that awesome afro and beard.




AMANDA BYNES returned to Twitter with a selfie.




LADY GAGA’s looking good in this yoga pose.







–GEORGE LUCAS is excited to see the next “Star Wars” movie . . . because he doesn’t know what to expect.



Well, he knows what to expect more than the rest of us, since the basic story is his.  But he didn’t write it, he didn’t direct it, and he’s had nothing to do with the production.



He says, quote, “The only thing I really regret about ‘Star Wars’ is the fact I never got to see it . . . I never got to be blown out of my seat when the ship came over the screen.  The next one, I’ll be able to enjoy it like anybody else.”



Meanwhile, George told “USA Today” that he was already developing the movie . . . and was planning to direct it . . . before Disney offered to fork over $4.06 BILLION for Lucasfilm.




At that point he decided to hand over the reins so he could spend more time with his wife and their new daughter, who was born by surrogate in 2013.



(I have an idea for you, George:  Rent out a theater where you’ll see the movie for the first time.  Then auction off tickets.)



(Imagine how many rich geeks would pay through the nose for the opportunity to sit in the same theater where George Lucas is seeing a “Star Wars” movie for the first time!  You could make some serious money for charity.)





–Someone was selling t-shirts with KURT COBAIN’S suicide note printed on them. The shirts first popped up at an Etsy shop, where they were going for $15.99.  When the shirts started attracting attention, Etsy shut the shop down.





Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong and His Instagram Followers Helped Find a Lost Dog



Some celebrities use Instagram to show off how their cleavage is looking on any given day . . . but GREEN DAY singer BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG used it to help find a lost dog.



This past weekend, a pitbull named Mochi was STOLEN out of a home in San Francisco, and so the owners posted photos of the dog on Instagram.  The pictures made the rounds, and eventually ended up in front of Billie Joe.



He passed it along to his followers.  Less than one day later the dog was found, and returned to her owners.  It had been missing for three days total.



It’s unclear whether it was Billie Joe’s post that did it . . . but it couldn’t have hurt.  He has more than 435,000 followers, and his post was “liked” over 30,000 times.




AC/DC and Madonna Will Perform at the Grammys 



Your mom and dad are going to LOVE the Grammys this year . . . because AC/DC and MADONNA are among the performers


The Grammys go down at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on February 8th.  They’ll air live on CBS.




Dave Grohl charged $50 admission to his birthday party:


. . . The money will go to charity:  the other dude from Nirvana.




Bradley Cooper poses nude in this month’s “W” magazine.  Happy New Year, housewives and Anderson Cooper.




The French magazine “Charlie Hebdo” will run an image of the Prophet Muhammad on their next cover.  Well, I HARDLY see what could possibly go wrong!




61 years ago . . . In 1954, MARILYN MONROE married her second husband, baseball legend JOE DIMAGGIO.  He nailed her REAL good . . . until they divorced in October.



Marilyn Monroe went on to marry Arthur Miller, playwright of “Death Of A Salesman”, and died in 1962 from a drug overdose.  DiMaggio STILL had roses sent to her grave three times a week for 20 years.



47 years ago . . . In 1968, theGreen Bay Packers won SUPER BOWL 2 . . . beating the Oakland Raiders 33-14.  Green Bay’s quarterback, BART STARR, was the game’s MVP.  TICKETS COST $12.



42 years ago . . . In 1973, the MIAMI DOLPHINS beat the Washington Redskins 14-7 at SUPER BOWL 7 . . . becoming the first and only team to end the season with a PERFECT RECORD.



Dolphins safety JAKE SCOTT had two interceptions and was voted the game’s MVP.  That was back when the NFL had a 14-game season.  So, counting the playoffs, the Dolphins went 17 and 0.



(The 2007 New England Patriots came one game away from having history’s SECOND perfect season, before losing to the Giants in the Super Bowl.)



(But by then the NFL was on its 16-game schedule.  So their final record was 18 and 1, and before that one loss, they went 18 and 0.  Thus, while they may not have gone undefeated, technically they went undefeated ONE GAME LONGER than those ’72 Dolphins.)







A Hockey Player Accidentally Clotheslined Himself with His Own Stick



On Sunday, a player for a junior hockey league team in Michigan got kicked out of a game, and started skating off the ice all angry.



And right when he got to the door he had to go through, he turned his stick sideways . . . and accidentally CLOTHESLINED himself.



It actually looked pretty painful, but he got up and ran into the tunnel.  (Search for “Mitchell Skiba Fail.”)




  And Now . . . A Horse Rolls Around on the Ground, Passing Gas



A video from 2012 just started making the rounds, where a horse is rolling around on the ground . . . while very audibly passing an EXCESSIVE amount of gas.



Near the end, someone who’s there actually comments on how good it must feel to get all that air out.



(Search for “Horse Passing Gas.”  Fun Fact:  The technical term for all that devil-air inside you is “flatus“.  Just thought you’d want to know.)







Weekend At Bernie’s



For as long as he can remember Bernie Schmidt has spent most of his summer and fall weekends on a football field. That is about to change. Yesterday the U of R Rams Offensive Coordinator was informed by acting AD Curtis Atkinson that his services were no longer needed. Mike Gibson, the former REDBLACKS OC, wants to control that side of the ball and I totally understand that mentality. And I have no doubt the new Head Coach is more than capable, but let’s not forget Schmidt directed one of the top offences in Canada.. Schmidt told me last week he’s leaves the team with ,wonderful memories and life long friendships. Believe it when I say this, Bernie you gave over thirty years to this organization and your contributions WILL NOT be minimized or forgotten.


I’m very eager to see how these changes play out this season!






Charlie Sheen Was So Excited About the Green Bay Packers’ Win, That He Kissed Another Male Packers Fan on the Lips




CHARLIE SHEEN is apparently a HUGE Green Bay Packers fan . . . and we know this because he was SO excited after their win against the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday that he KISSED another fan.



The other fan was MALE . . . and Charlie kissed him ON THE LIPS.  Not surprisingly, this happened outside a bar.



Charlie was in Green Bay for the game, and went to the bar afterward to celebrate with some fans.  He bought shots and drinks for a bunch of people . . . and this guy may have been one of them.



(Here’s video of the kiss.  The guy was a good sport, and just went with it.  And he didn’t seem THAT drunk.  And here’s a Vine of a moment when Charlie was shown on the scoreboard during the game.)






“Macho Man” Randy Savage will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year.  He got in by a landslide.  Sources say he received more fake votes than any inductee in years.





Ohio State won the first national title in college football’s playoff era by beating Oregon 42-20 last night:


. . . Pot is legal there, so Oregon fans can add this loss to the list of things that they forget.


. LeBron James was at the game.  He wanted to see if it was possible for an Ohio team to actually win something.




Backstage at the “Golden Globes”, BILLY BOB THORNTON was asked to play Would You Rather between REESE WITHERSPOON and JENNIFER ANISTON.  He said, quote, “Jennifer Aniston, lifelong goal.  That’s all I’m sayin’.”



There’d been some talk that LEONARDO DICAPRIO was under the weather.  But he seemed to be feeling fine at a Playboy Mansion party Saturday night, because sources say he was MAKING OUT WITH RIHANNAIs there anybody with a more impressive trail of trim?



STEPHEN COLBERT ended “The Colbert Report” last month, and now we know that “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” will debut on September 8th.  As previously announced, DAVID LETTERMAN will sign off on May 20th . It would be sooner, but workers need more time to dissemble the intern love nest Dave had above the stage.


GARY OLDMAN and his fourth wife are getting divorced..If you’re divorced 4 times YOU are the problem…




Florida police say two women got into a violent fistfight over David Cassidy:


. . . Not much is known about the women.  Other than their lives are a billion times sadder than anything you could possibly imagine.


‘BEFORE FAME GAME’: Where did these show biz stars work before they became famous?


• Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) worked as a …

a. Professional Juggler. [CORRECT]

b. Foot Model.

c. Doctor.


• Jon Stewart (“The Daily Show”) put on shows as a …

a. Magician.

b. Singer.

c. Puppeteer. [CORRECT]



• Kanye West (“Only One”) worked retail at …

a. Gucci.

b. Yves St Laurent.

c. The Gap. [CORRECT]..who knew Jesus got his start in retail!



• Amy Adams (“Big Eyes”) was once a …

a. Hooters Girl. [CORRECT]

b. Truck Mechanic.

c. Kindergarten Teacher. –




So Was It A Catch?

The Cowboys-Packers Game Came Down to a Controversial Call by the Refs



The Green Bay Packers made it to the NFC Championship game yesterday, by beating the Dallas Cowboys 26 to 21.  And it came down to a controversial call by the refs.



With four-and-a-half minutes left, Dallas wide receiver DEZ BRYANT caught a 32-yard pass from TONY ROMO at the one-yard line.  But the Packers challenged it.



And when the officials reviewed it, they said it WASN’T a catch, because the ball moved when it hit the ground.  Most experts seem to agree it was the right call . . . but obviously most Cowboys fans DON’T.



If it HAD been ruled a catch, the Cowboys probably would have scored a touchdown, and THEY would have had the lead with four minutes left.  Instead, Green Bay plays Seattle next week, and the winner goes to the Super Bowl.



It’s a little bit of karma, since the Cowboys beat the Lions last week after a blatant pass interference call against them was overturned . . . and they scored the game-winning points on the next possession.  (Search for “Dez Bryant’s Overturned Catch.”)





Ohio native and Buckeyes fan LeBron James is making sure Ohio State’s players are getting an earful at the national championship game. James helped each of the Buckeyes get a pair of Beats By Dre headphones ahead of their game against Oregon tonight (Monday). Ohio State officials say that the gift was not a violation of improper benefits to athletes, and that the value of the headphones will be subtracted from the total permissible gift allowance offered to players in the game.


Oregon receiver Darren Carrington will miss tonight’s championship game after testing positive for pot. Also missing tonight’s game because of pot: everyone else in Oregon.

Most people feel Peyton Manning should retire. Not from football, from making those God-awful Papa John’s commercials. (Tweet This)

Chris Christie did attend the Cowboys-Packers game in Green Bay yesterday. And today, Wisconsin is out of cheese. (Tweet This)






A Woman Records Herself Whispering, and 350,000 People Watch Her Videos



Here’s one of the weirder YouTube channels we’ve seen . . . and that’s saying something.



There’s a 28-year-old in Maryland who only goes by “Maria” and runs a channel called GentleWhispering . . . where all she does is whisper stuff and record it.  More than 350,000 people subscribe to her channel, and she has over 94 million total views.



Apparently people find it relaxing.  “The Washington Post” even did a story on her recently, and she explained how it has to do with something called “autonomous sensory meridian response.”


(You can listen to her whisper an explanation of what she does here.)





There Was a 193-Car Pile-Up in Michigan . . . and One of the Trucks Was Hauling 40,000 Pounds of Fireworks



There was a MASSIVE pile-up on Interstate 94 in Michigan on Friday.  193 cars were involved . . . 23 people ended up in the hospital . . . and one truck driver was killed.  And one of the trucks that crashed was carrying 40,000 pounds of FIREWORKS.



(Search for “150-Car Pile-Up on Michigan Highway” and “Fireworks Go Off Following Wreck on I-94.”




Deep down, we all know every time we eat McDonald’s puts us one step closer to the grave.  We don’t need a reminder THIS obvious.



There’s a guy on Twitter named bonerman_inc . . . so you KNOW he’s got his life together.  And he went to McDonald’s on Friday and got a strawberry sundae.  Then as he looked at it, he was shocked to see the SOUL OF A DEMON.



Seriously . . . the way the strawberry sauce flowed into the ice cream, it looked exactly like an undead skull on the side of his cup.



So he tweeted a photo of the cup to McDonald’s, and said, quote, “Hey McDonald’s, I ordered a sundae but instead you gave me the souls of the damned, did I have to pay extra for this?”  Obviously McDonald’s didn’t respond.






A 46-year-old woman in New York was arrested last week after she chugged two bottles of vanilla extract . . . and drove around DRUNK.  Vanilla extract is 41% alcohol, which means it’s 82 proof . . . the woman had a blood-alcohol level of .26 and was arrested for felony driving while intoxicated.



A 61-year-old guy who used to be an MIT professor was arrested on Friday for a bank robbery.  But he says he did it as an ART PROJECT.  He says his art is all based around him doing illegal stuff . . . but a judge didn’t buy his excuse and set his bail at $50,000.




A high school student in New York was arrested for assault last Monday, after she bashed another kid in the head with a metal stool . . . because he PASSED GAS next to her.




1.  NIKKI SIXX says he’d probably decline if the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wanted to induct MOTLEY CRUE . . . because the Hall is, quote, “a fixed old-boy network that has lost touch with art, songwriting craft, lyrics and influential music, and usually has other agendas at hand.”



2.  Check out this video of a young Indonesian girl shredding to LAMB OF GOD’s “Hourglass”.



Who would you rather spend a cold night with? Rosie O’Donnell or Whoopi Goldberg?

Real fireplace, or gas fireplace?

Hot chocolate or a hot specialty drink like Caramel Machiato?



Are You Buying What The NFL Is Selling?

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller conducted a four-month investigation into the NFL’s handling of the RAY RICE domestic abuse situation, and the results were released in a 96-page report yesterday.



It boils down to two things:  One, there was no evidence that the NFL lied about NOT seeing the surveillance tape from inside the elevator before it was unleashed on the Internet in September.



That’s despite the fact that the Associated Press claimed the NFL received the footage in April, and that there was allegedly a voicemail by a female NFL employee confirming that they’d received the tape.



So, that’s GOOD for the NFL and Commissioner Roger Goodell.



The BAD part is that the report also found that the NFL didn’t do nearly enough investigating on their own with the information they did have, after initially seeing the first tape from outside the elevator, which showed Ray dragging his unconscious fiancée out of the elevator.


Many fans are skeptical about the “unbiased nature” of this report.



 Ballsy’s Sports Shorts


NBC is charging a record $4.5 MILLION for each 30-second ad spot during next month’s Super Bowl . . . and apparently, that’s fine with advertisers, because the network has sold 95% of the spots.  And they could’ve charged MORE.



NBC claims that with all the views the commercials get online . . . after and sometimes BEFORE the game . . . along with the positive P.R. that brands get for advertising during the Super Bowl . . . the ad-time is worth TWICE as much.



An NBC suit says, quote, “[$4.5 million] is a STEAL.  We think the Super Bowl is worth closer to $10 million in incremental exposure for marketers.”




Chris Christie is expected to join Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in Green Bay for their game against the Packers on Sunday:


. . . We won’t know for sure until he buys both of his airline seats.


. . . Christie likes going to Wisconsin because there he looks downright svelte.



BILL COSBY made a RAPE JOKE during a show in Canada last night.  A woman in the front row got up, and Bill asked her where she was going.  She said she was getting a drink.  And he said, quote, “You have to be careful about drinking around me.”  There were some gasps, but they turned into laughter and applause.  In related news, TINA FEY says that Cosby jokes are NOT off-limits at this weekend’s “Golden Globes”.




Because “Back to the Future Part 2” is set in 2015, everybody is obsessing over what predictions they got right and wrong.  One thing that hasn’t come true yet is the self-tying Nikes.  But don’t count that one out yet . . . because Nike is actually working on it.  They even have a PATENT for it.



TOTO is releasing their first new album in almost a decade.  It’s called “Toto XIV” . . . and it’s coming out on March 24th.  It’s supposed to be the, quote, “true follow-up to ‘Toto IV’, which made them global superstars.”  That’s the one with “Rosanna” and “Africa”.  Toto is also touring the U.S. this summer.  Keyboardist Steve Porcaro says, quote, “This is opposite of going through the motions.  We are treating this like it is Toto V.”  (And yet they called it “Toto XIV”?  Interesting . . . but let’s not ask questions.  I don’t want to ruin this.)






CHARLIE SHEEN launched into some kind of Twitter rant yesterday . . . possibly against “Two and a Half Men”(He already took it down, but you can see it here.)





Now there’s a website that helps you dress just like people in movies and TV shows.




NEIL YOUNG is working on an album with WILLIE NELSON’s sons LUKAS and MICAH.  (Full Story)



DR. DRE has headphones.  MOTORHEAD has headphones.  And now IRON MAIDEN is getting in on the act.  (Full Story)




Check out all the extras on tap for the 40th anniversary re-issue of LED ZEPPELIN’s “Physical Graffiti”.  (Full Story)



Melissa Gilbert got rid of her breast implants.  And in the process, she also got rid of the only two reasons to possibly give a crap about Melissa Gilbert.



A time capsule made by Paul Revere and Samuel Adams was opened in Boston this week.  It contained rare coins, newspapers, and . . . Madonna tickets.





A Guy Personalized His Terrible New Birthday Song for 22,000 Different Names



Warner Brothers owns the copyright on the “Happy Birthday” song.  So you can’t sing it on TV or in a movie unless you pay them a royalty.  Which is why a guy in North Carolina named Greg May decided to write a NEW Happy Birthday song.



He wrote it in 2006, and over the past nine years, he’s spent most of his free time and at least $150,000 having a woman do versions for EVERY NAME you can think of.



He’s posted YouTube videos for 22 THOUSAND names so far, and he’s still going.  He did 5,000 last year alone.  And he’s done multiple versions for each name, in several different languages.  So he’s posted about 300,000 videos total.



And the best part is . . . the song is TERRIBLE.  It’s long . . . it’s annoying . . . the woman’s not a great singer . . . it randomly includes ‘Feliz Compleanos’ . . . and for some reason she imitates a dog barking and howling.  On every single version.



It’s like he MEANT for it to be bad.  But he didn’t.  He legitimately hoped it would be the new song people sing.  The easiest way to find a version with your name is to go to his website,






A Band Makes Music Videos by Inserting Themselves Into Famous Movie Scenes



A band from California called DUM does makes music videos by superimposing their faces onto characters in famous movies scenes.  And they’re actually kind of funny.



So far, they’ve made videos using scenes from Home Alone, Star Wars, NeverEnding Story, and Dumb and Dumber(DELICIOUS AUDIO ALERT:  Grab audio from today’s Stupid Videos here.)






Do You Have A Stressful Job?



There’s more to being a radio personality than glamour, fame, and orgies on piles of money.  Maybe NOW you’ll appreciate us . . .



According to a new study by, “BROADCASTER” is the seventh most stressful job you can have.  They looked at 11 different kinds of job demands that evoke stress, both physical AND mental.  Here are the ten most stressful jobs . . .



1.  Firefighter.


2.  Member of the military.


3.  General in the military.


4.  Airline pilot.


5.  Police officer.


6.  Actor.


7.  Broadcaster . . . you’re welcome, Canada


8.  Event coordinator.


9.  Photojournalist.


10.  Newspaper reporter.


By the way the least stressful job: hair stylist….




Today at 2pm in the Rams locker room new head coach Mike Gibson will officially be introduced to the media. Gibson met this week with players and coaches to outline his vision for the team.


JOHN TRAVOLTA is coming back to TV.  He’ll play O.J. Simpson’s defense attorney Robert Shapiro in “American Crime Story” . . . the upcoming “American Horror Story” spin-off based on O.J.’s murder trial.



As previously reported, DAVID SCHWIMMER is playing Kim Kardashian’s dad, defense lawyer Robert Kardashian . . . CUBA GOODING JR. is taking on O.J. . . . and SARAH PAULSON will play prosecutor Marcia Clark.



This is John’s first regular TV gig since “Welcome Back, Kotter” in the ’70s. “American Crime Story” will start shooting soon, but no premiere date has been set.




By the way, the Heisman Trophy that O.J. Simpson won in 1968 has been recovered more than 20 YEARS after it was stolen in a burglary at the University of Southern California.  Police aren’t saying how or where they found it.



(Two Heismans are issued every year:  One for the player and one for the school.  This one was USC’s copy.  O.J.’s statue was sold years ago to help pay off the multimillion-dollar civil wrongful death trial he lost.)


No word if the returned statue still had a head.





Good news for MUHAMMAD ALI.  He’s been released from the hospital fully recovered.  Turns out he didn’t have pneumonia . . . just a urinary tract infection.




Former Boston Red Sox pitcher CURT SCHILLING thinks he didn’t get into the Baseball Hall of Fame because he’s a Republican. “[Smoltz] is a Hall-of-Famer. And I think the other big thing is that I think he’s a Democrat, and so… I know that as a Republican, that there’s some people who really don’t like that.” So, a couple of things here. Number one, it’s hard to imagine many situations other than vying for a spot in the baseball Hall of Fame—an institution that boasts a predominately old, white, and male group of gatekeepers—in which being a Republican would be less harmful to your chances at success.

Second, I highly doubt that John Smoltz is almost certainly not a Democrat. The man once compared homosexuality to bestiality, and gave a bunch of money to Mitt Romney’s campaign.  Schilling shut up when growns folks is talkin!







53 years ago . . . In 1962, 21-year-old JACK NICKLAUS played in his first professional golf event, the Los Angeles Open.  He came in 50th place and won $33.33.




21 years ago . . . In 1994, the ridiculously sexy TONYA HARDING won her second National Skating Championship.  NANCY KERRIGAN was unable to compete because Tonya’s chubby assault crew had bashed her leg with a steel bar two days earlier.






1.  Watch Parents Explain Sex to Their Kids for the First Time



Giving kids “the talk” is awkward enough . . . imagine doing it on camera for the entire world to see.



The same people who did the video in November of grandmas smoking POT for the first time just posted a new one called Parents Talk to Their Kids About The Birds and the Bees.



It’s mostly just awkward and funny.  And at worst, they get descriptive without being graphic about it.  But some of the younger kids seem grossed out anyway.  Also, some seem a bit YOUNG for the sex talk.



(Warning:  Sexual content, including the words “p*nis” and “v*gina”.)




2.  All of Last Year’s Superhero Movies . . . in One Trailer



Someone took clips from all the comic book movies that came out last year . . . including “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”, “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”, and “Guardians of the Galaxy”.



And they combined them into a single trailer that’s pretty much seamless.  So it’s like one massive, action-packed superhero movie.  (Search for “Comics Movies 2014.”)





Two kids in, JESSICA ALBA still looks like this in a bikini.




So I guess TARA REID likes to bowl in her bra?




PORTIA DE ROSSI got back at ELLEN DEGENERES by filming her on the treadmill singing “Uptown Funk”.  Ellen fired the first shot by secretly filming Portia doing the JANE FONDA workout.




Here’s a nice collection of sexy PARIS HILTON Instagram pics(In related news, Paris spent $25,000 on two Pomeranians . . . one of which was a present for her mom.)




KALEY CUOCO went to the premiere of “The Wedding Ringer” . . . with a price tag still on her shoe.



Here’s what some dead pop stars like ELVIS, KURT COBAIN, JIM MORRISON, and KEITH MOON might look like if they were still alive.  (RockHeaven)





LORENZO LAMAS says he decided to leave show business to become a helicopter pilot . . . because he got sick of sitting around waiting for the phone just so he could do “another B-movie.”  He says, quote, “I’m really focusing on my new career, and I’m enjoying it tremendously . . . I have no regrets.” Neither do we Lorenzo…neither do we….


 THURSDAY THOUGHT…No sense being pessimistic, it probably won’t work anyway.


You Don’t Need To Warm Up That Vehicle

A lot of the North America is getting hit by a wicked cold front.  Which is why THIS caught our eye . . .



“The Washington Post” just did a story on whether or not warming up your car before you drive actually DOES anything.  And the answer is . . . NO.  Or, at least it doesn’t do anything beneficial for the car itself.



It USED to be necessary back when cars had carburetors, which need the engine to warm up before they’ll work right.  But by the 1990’s, almost all cars had electronic fuel injectors, which automatically compensate for the temperature.



So as long as you’re not in a 30-year-old car, you probably don’t need to let it warm up.  The only practical reason to do it is so the INSIDE of the car gets warm, or so you can crank the defrost . . . which is probably why most people do it.



But if you’re running late for work, there’s no need to sit there waiting and worrying if the engine is ready.  You could also end up wasting a decent amount of gas.  A 2009 survey found that when it’s cold out, the average person lets their car warm up for about five minutes.



And a test showed that when it’s right around zero degrees, letting your car idle for just five minutes can increase your total fuel consumption by 7 to 14%.






A guy just posted a story online about how he tried to clean the adult toys he and his wife use, by boiling them in a pot of water.  But he didn’t pay attention, the pot caught on FIRE, and he had to put it out . . . but not until the house was filled with black smoke that covered everything in ash.



A 50-year-old guy in Florida was wearing a shirt on Monday that said, quote, “Who needs drugs?  No, seriously, I have drugs.”  And it was true.  He took some marijuana and meth to a Kmart . . . a cop saw him trying to pass a bag to someone . . . and he was arrested for possession.



Two guys in their twenties had to attend a court-ordered DUI class in California on Monday, and they got into an argument afterward.  It escalated, and one guy stabbed the other with a SWITCHBLADE.  He was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.




A new study looked at temperatures from the past 30 years, and found the coldest city in the U.S. is Grand Forks, North Dakota.  Followed by Fargo, North Dakota . . . Duluth, Minnesota . . . Bismarck, North Dakota . . . and Eau Claire, Wisconsin.




ISIS leaders are trying to help their soldiers fight by giving them cocaine.  Which explains why Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen have just joined ISIS.




Women are 50% more likely to get depressed about winter.  I don’t know why . . . I don’t see too many of them out shoveling.




Amelia Earhart and her husband had an open marriage.  Which is where the phrase, “Fly the friendly skies” actually comes from..


Ever wonder when you’re going to die and how? Well you’re in luck because there’s an app for that:





…”Its so cold that Mileys tongue froze to her wrecking ball

It’s so cold I saw a group of penguins at the rollback sale at Walmart getting coats!

It’s so cold…hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

It’s so cold…roosters are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

It’s so cold . . .I chipped a tooth on my soup!

It’s so cold . . .if you milked a cow, you’d get ice cream!

It’s so cold.. our sales guys have their hands in their own pockets.






1.  Little Boys Refuse to Hit a Girl in a PSA About Domestic Violence



An Italian PSA about domestic violence is making the rounds online.  Four boys between seven and 11 years old were asked to stand next to a girl about their age, and give her compliments.  Then they had to make funny faces at her, which they all did.



But then when they were told to SLAP her, none of them would do it . . . because they said a boy should NEVER hit a girl.  Which is supposed to remind us that what we teach our kids about domestic violence DOES have an effect on them.



(Search for “Slap Her – Children’s Reactions.”  They’re told to slap her at 1:52.)




2.  A Knife-Thrower on “Lithuania’s Got Talent” Almost Killed His Assistant



A knife-thrower was on Lithuania’s version of “America’s Got Talent” recently . . . and almost KILLED a guy.



He had an assistant stand against a wooden wall, and almost threw knives through BOTH of the guy’s hands.  He actually nicked one of the guy’s fingers, because later in the video he tries to wipe some blood off the floor with his shoe.



Then he had someone put a watermelon above the assistant’s head, and missed it three times in a row . . . and the second knife almost hit him in the FACE.



(Search for “Lithuania’s Got Talent Crazy Knife Thrower.”  He almost hits his hands at 5:28 and 5:42, starts throwing at the watermelon at 7:27, and wipes up blood with his shoe at 8:59.)







Former superstar pitchers RANDY JOHNSON, PEDRO MARTINEZ, and JOHN SMOLTZ have all been elected into Baseball’s Hall of Fame. For all three of them, it was their first year on the ballot.

Former Houston Astros second baseman CRAIG BIGGIO also got in . . . after missing the cut by just two votes last year. This is the largest class to be inducted in one year since 1955.

Johnson had FIVE Cy Young Awards, Martinez had three, and Smoltz had one. Biggio had 3,060 hits over his career. Only 19 players in baseball history have had more. They’ll be formally inducted in Cooperstown on July 26th.

To get into the Hall, you need to be backed by 75% of the voters. Catcher Mike Piazza had the most votes without getting in. He had 70%, and was 28 votes shy.

I think Martinez had the best two years (’99-’00) for a pitcher in baseball history.

During that time, the heart of the steroid era, Pedro had a 1.90 ERA while the MLB average was 4.90. And remember he was pitching a majority of his games in the hitter friendly Fenway Park.

As expected, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa weren’t even close yet again . . . thanks to the fact that they were roided up..  (Will these guys ever get in? Should they? Discuss.)




Canada Is On Top Again!



Canada’s gold-medal drought at the world junior hockey championship is over. Max Domi scored and added two assists as Canada held on for a 5-4 victory over Russia to win the tournament for the first time since 2009. Domi was named best forward of the tournament. He had five goals and 10 points as Canada posted a perfect 7-and-0 record. Here are some more thoughts on the big game:

–Boy Russia and Canada bring out the best in each other. Was that game better than the 2009 semi-final..You know the one, Eberle scores with seconds left to tie it?  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a tie!

–Moose Jaw forward Brayden Point emerged as a great spark plug for the Red and White.

–To think Max Domi wasn’t good enough to make last year’s team.

–As an Oilers fan it was pleasure to watch Darnell Nurse. He played last night like he was Chris Pronger. His dad is former Hamilton Tiger Cat Richard Nurse and his uncle is former NFLer Donovan McNabb.

–Kudos to organizers for a great tourney, and a tip of the cap to Toronto fans for their excitement. Some of them looked surprised at the end, ” they give out trophies in hockey.” I know, I know, as an Oilers fan I shouldn’t talk.

Ballsy’s Sports Shorts…

If you think MIKE TYSON is loopy now, then you don’t remember him back in his heyday. He was SERIOUSLY out of control.

His longtime friend and manager Rory Holloway has a book out called “Taming the Beast: The Untold Story of Mike Tyson” . . . and it’s got some wild stories in it.

Like the time Mike nailed NAOMI CAMPBELL in the bathroom at a RUSSELL SIMMONS party. (Careful!) Holloway says, quote, “Mike says he gotta use the restroom. Next thing I know, Naomi’s following him in there. Guests are walking up. ‘Bathroom’s taken,’ I’m telling them.

Then there was the time Mike paid a WITCH DOCTOR to help him win his 1992 rape trial. Holloway says, quote, “One day, the guy convinced Mike to go into the shower and pour a bucket of milk all over himself, like it supposed to cleanse him or something.

“Then he tells Mike to write down the names of all the prosecutors and lawyers on a piece of paper. While he’s staring at those guys in the courtroom, he’s supposed to eat the list and swallow it.

“You see Mike over in his chair, chewing on this damn wad like a madman, staring hard, like it’s gonna do something. This huckster took tens of thousands of dollars from Mike. Yeah, and look at how that turned out.” (Mike was convicted in 1992 and spent three years in prison.)

–A 19-year-old guy went to the Rose Bowl in California on New Year’s Day, got drunk, and didn’t have a way to get to his car a few miles away after the game. So he stole one of the Rose Bowl’s golf carts, and drove it on the HIGHWAY to get his car. The cops pulled him over and he was arrested for a DUI.

Oregon and Ohio State will play for the championship in the first-ever college football playoffs next Monday. And they ALSO played for the title in the first-ever college basketball Final Four in 1939. Oregon won, 46-to-33.

— Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston turns 21 today. I feel bad for the guy. Finally. He’s been waiting almost a whole week so he can drink to forget the Rose Bowl.

 — Ndamukong Suh of the Detroit Lions turns 28 today. His parties are always kind of messy because he doesn’t blow out his candles . . . he just stomps on the cake.



40 years ago . . . In 1975, TED TURNER bought the Atlanta Braves for $11 million.

21 years ago . . . In 1994, TONYA HARDING’S chubby assault team caught up with NANCY KERRIGAN after practice in Detroit and beat her about the right leg with an iron bar.


1. A Fireworks Factory Exploded in Colombia

A fireworks factory in Colombia EXPLODED on Sunday, and a guy managed to get video of it. The blast was so strong, it actually knocked him over.

Luckily no one was killed, and only one person got injured . . . even though there were five warehouses filled with gunpowder. (Search for “Fireworks Factory Explodes in Colombia.” Most of the action happens in the first 20 seconds.)

(There’s also a video making the rounds that shows a bunch of firework displays in Metairie, Louisiana on New Year’s. A guy shot it using a drone, and got some pretty cool footage.)

2. Did a Guy in California Get a UFO on Video?

A video of an alleged UFO in Southern California started circulating online yesterday. It’s at night, and basically looks like a comet going across the sky. But it’s moving kind of slowly, which is weird.

Then 15 seconds in, a small orb of light breaks off and flies away on its own. So some people think it was an alien spaceship crashing, and the orb was an escape pod.

But you’d think someone ELSE would have gotten it on video TOO. So we’re guessing it’s just a hoax. (Search for “UFO Crashing Releases Orb.” After :41, it’s just blank video.)

Never take a pill that has more side effects than you have symptoms.


Ballsy’s Sports Shorts

Video Sports Insanity #1: A College Player Scores a Touchdown With Soiled Pants



During the second half of the Birmingham Bowl on Saturday, Florida Gators running back ADAM LANE JR. scored a touchdown from two yards out. And he apparently did it WITH A LOAD IN HIS PANTS.



There is pretty clear pictorial evidence that Lane soiled himself sometime during the drive. After he scored and went to the sidelines, a trainer handed him a towel to cover up the evidence.



And on Florida’s next possession, the stain had magically disappeared. (Check out the evidence here. And here’s video. Florida won the game over East Carolina, 28 to 20.)


Video Sports Insanity #3: Terrell Suggs Catches a Pass Between His Knees



During the victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Saturday, Baltimore Ravens linebacker TERRELL SUGGS picked off a BEN ROETHLISBERGER pass with his KNEES.



The ball went through Terrell’s hands, but got lodged between his knees. And it stayed there as he went to the ground, rolled onto his back and secured it with his hands. (Check out the NFL’s video here. And here’s a fan’s Vine of just the catch.)






Video Sports Insanity #4: Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Denies a Chris Christie High-Five



New Jersey Governor CHRIS CHRISTIE is a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. So last night, he was watching the Dallas / Detroit game in Cowboys owner JERRY JONES’ box.



After the NFL refs defeated the Lions, Christie went to high-five Jones . . . and was REJECTED. (Check it out here.)



(Whether you blame the officials for the outcome of the game or not, you have to admit there were some horrific calls . . . and NON-CALLS . . . that really stalled the Lions offense. Here’s a quick recap.)






Video Sports Insanity #2: An NHL Referee Stops the Action So He Can Vomit on the Ice



NHL ref MIKE LEGGO blew his whistle and stopped the action during Friday night’s Lightning / Penguins game in Pittsburgh . . . because he had to VOMIT. And he did . . . right there on the ice. (Check out pics and video here.)



(Look to the very right of the screen about five seconds into the video. You’ll see Leggo bending over to YAK. Scroll down to the comments section for a clear GIF of him heaving. Here’s a Vine of the “action”.)