Let’s hope none of us receives these stocking stuffers:
MOST FREQUENTLY RETURNED GIFTS:
● The “Sunbeam Six-Slice Shower Toaster.”
● “Hickory Farms Smoked Gristle Assortment.”
● “The Black & Decker Forehead Sander.”
● “The Craftmatic Adjustable Groin-Puller.”
● “Super-Itchy Slipper Socks” from Super-Itchy Technologies.
● “Lick Me – The Board Game.”
● “Isotoner Diapers.”
● “Bag o’ Live Weasels.”
CHRISTMAS BY THE NUMBERS:
● Forget dreaming about a “White Christmas.” A “Money” magazine poll shows that 66% of us would prefer a sunny, warm Christmas.
● Approximately 3 billion Christmas cards are exchanged worldwide each year.
● A poll on holiday traditions finds 71% of us open presents Christmas Day, while 29% will do it tonight, Christmas Eve.
WHAT ICONIC CHRISTMAS MOVIES ARE KNOWN AS IN OTHER LANGUAGES: A few seasonal films’ foreign titles translated back to English literally …
• “Frozen” … is known in Russian as “Cold Heart”.
• “Jingle All the Way” … in Danish it’s called “Mission: Christmas Present”.
• “A Christmas Carol” … in Argentina it is titled “The Ghosts of Scrooge”.
• “It’s a Wonderful Life” … in German the tile is “Is This Life Not Wonderful?”.
• “Home Alone” … in Italy, it’s called “Mom, I Missed the Plane!”.
• “Elf” … in Brazil it’s titled “A Goblin in New York”.
• “Love Actually” … in Turkish it’s “Ask Everywhere”.
• “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” … in Greek it’s “The Trickster in Christmas”.
• “Die Hard” … in Spanish the title is “The Glass Jungle”.
• “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” … in France, it’s “The Tree Has the Balls”.
BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS WE MISSED IN 2014
MAN BEATS BEER MILE RECORD
“Doctors and scientists said that breaking the four-minute mile was impossible, that one would die in the attempt. Thus, when I got up from the track after collapsing at the finish line, I figured I was dead,” said the first person to ever run a mile in under four minutes.
If Sir Roger Bannister’s world record changed medical history, then James “The Best” Nielsen’s achievement changed beer chugging forever.
Nielsen, a two-time NCAA 5,000-metres champion, ran the world’s first beer mile in under five minutes with an official time of 4:57, according to Deadspin. The previous record? 5:15
British violinist cheats her way onto Thailand’s Olympic ski team
Thirty-six-year-old Brit Vanessa-Mae obviously stood out from the crowd at the Sochi Olympics, and not just because she’s a pop violinist who mixes classical music with techno.
No, what made Mae stand out was that she participated in blatantly fixed qualifying races.
A few weeks before the Olympic qualification deadline, Mae participated in four races that were manipulated so it would appear as though she performed much better than she actually did.
Officials at the tainted races created fake times for racers who didn’t actually race, changed times for lower-qualified racers, failed to change the course between runs, and continued races even when the conditions got so bad that they should have been called off.
Given her grossly inflated qualifications, it’s not surprising Mae didn’t fare too well in Sochi.
Former NBAer busted for being a ‘heavily armed heroin addict with a grenade launcher’
This was not your everyday drug bust.
In October, a SWAT team raided a dealer’s home near Portland, Ore., and found meth, heroin, prostitutes and weapons. Oh, and they also found 7-foot-2 former NBA center Robert Swift.
Swift, who played for the Seattle SuperSonics/Oklahoma City Thunder from 2004 to 2009, was arrested during the raid and admitted to being a heroin addict, but said he had nothing to do with his roommate’s drug dealing business.
Good guy or not, cops searched Swift’s bedroom and found a 12-gauge shotgun propped up behind the door, seven more firearms on or under the bed, and a military-grade 40mm grenade launcher locked in a safe.
40-year-old bank employee gives up fast food and cigarettes, dominates 100K race, goes on to represent Britain at Commonwealth Games
In 2007, bank worker Steve Way weighed 231 pounds, wore 38-inch-waist pants, and smoked 20 cigarettes a day. In July, Way represented England in the marathon at the Commonwealth Games, the Olympics for the former British Empire.
How exactly did a fat chain smoker with high blood pressure become a world-class marathoner? Well, at the end of 2007, he decided that he wanted to get in shape and he never really stopped, according to Deadspin.
Way quit smoking, stopped eating fast food and started jogging. His goal was to run the 2008 London Marathon in under 3 hours. He did it in 2:35.
Being the third-fastest Englishman, Way was selected to run the marathon at the Commonwealth Games. He finished 10th out of 27 runners with a time of 2:15:16.
French soccer club suspected of bribing opponents with halftime wine delivery
When the French fix soccer matches, they apparently do it in the most French way possible.
During their 2013 Ligue 2 campaign (Ligue 2 is sort of the equivalent of Triple-A baseball), Nimes was constantly in the battle to avoid relegation, which would have forced them to play the 2014 season in Ligue 3.
What did Nimes do to avoid such a horrible fate? Well, they allegedly made a deal with Caen so their game on the second-to-last matchday of the season ended in a mutually beneficial 1-1 tie.
According to L’Equipe, the deal was set up 48 hours before the match and was sealed at halftime, when cases of wine from Nimes were delivered to the Caen locker room.
It is not known if any cheese was part of the delivery.
From the Ball Family to your’s all the Best this Holiday season! Merry Christmas and thanks for checking out my site.