Monthly Archives: May 2017

National Wine Day!

In honour of today being National Wine Day, here are The Top Surprising Facts About Wine.

 

 

5. They drank a ton of it in the Bible, which is probably why they saw stuff like talking bushes and parting seas.

 

4. “Chardonnay” is French for “booze your mom will like.”

 

3. The redder the wine, the more it is attracted to white carpet.

 

2. Red wine goes with beef . . . white wine goes with fish . . . and wine coolers go with whatever you order at 2:00 A.M. at Taco Bell.

 

1. Drinking it boosts your cognitive ability . . . with the exception of Kathie Lee.

May The 4th Be With You!

Today’s “Star Wars” Day, because it’s “May the 4th” . . . as in May the Fourth Be With You.  Make it great with “The Top Tips for Celebrating ‘Star Wars’ Day.”

 

 

5. Give your favorite action figure a good polish, if you know what I mean.

 

4. Infuriate “Star Wars” nerds by telling them your favorite character is Spock.

 

3. Go to Walmart and try to spot someone smaller than Jabba the Hutt.

 

2. If your lightsaber lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention.

 

1. Just accept that you’ll be celebrating it alone.