Monthly Archives: February 2016

Cover Your Eyes and You Won’t Be Fat!

blindfold dude

Here’s a new diet that doesn’t require you to cut out any foods . . . add any foods . . . or even exercise. But it DOES require you to pretend you’re in the middle of a kinky bondage session every time you eat.

A study at the University of Konstanz in Germany found that an easy trick to lose weight is . . . eat with a BLINDFOLD on.

People who ate blindfolded took in 9% fewer calories before they felt full, compared to people who could actually see their food. The blindfolded people estimated they’d eaten 88% more calories than they actually had.

The researchers say blindfolds work for two reasons. Number one, because they stop you from eating for pleasure.

And number two, eating with a blindfold on stops you from following your biological instinct to eat everything in front of you. Yeah . . . that’s why I do that.

A Local Rising Star To Keep Your Eyes On!

I’ve said it many times, Regina has some of the best football players in Canada, if not North America. Much of the credit goes to the numerous coaches who have invested their time, energy and money to helping grow the game of football in our backyard. In fact two guys who do a great job in this aspect are Kelly Hamilton and Len Antonini. Those men along with a cast of volunteers have sacrificed much to help turn Regina Minor Football into arguably the best youth football league in Canada.

One guy who has come up through the ranks is Mason Nyhus, who played in the RMF before suiting up with the Riffel Royals for three seasons. Nyhus’ talents were on display last month at the International Bowl in Arlington, Texas. The Under 18 Canada team also featured Nick Cross, Bowen Pisula, Josh Haggerty and Kyle Borsa. Below is a recap of how the team did:

 

under 18 team

Mason Nyhus of Regina scored Canada’s first two touchdowns to help Canada’s under-18 national team defeat the United States under-19 selects 31-13 at the International Bowl on January 31st at AT&T Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys.

Canada jumped on the United States with an opening scoring drive of 61-yards finished by a 1-yard plunge by Nyhus. Nyhus ended Canada’s second scoring drive of the game with a short dive into the end zone following a 40-yard laser-beam completion to Ben Pasluk of Red Deer, Alberta.

It was another long completion from Nyhus that set up Canada’s third deep penetration of the first half. Nyhus connected with Bryan Owusu Bekoe of Mirabel, Quebec for 50 yards to set up Canada in United States territory. However, the United States defense stiffened, and Canada failed on a 42-yard field goal attempt. Canada lead 14-0 at halftime with Nyhus completing nine of 16 passes for 119 yards in his half of work.

Nyhus threw for two touchdown passes February 3rd to lead Canada over the U.S. under-18 national team 24-0. Canada took an early lead when Owusu Bekoe found the end zone on a 5-yard passing completion from Nyhus.

Late in the first half, Nyhus hit Jacob Izquierdo of Calgary, Alberta for a 27-yard highlight reel completion to the U.S. 11. Canada would settle for a field goal and a 10-0 halftime lead.

Nyhus connected with Izquierdo again on a 44-yard touchdown pass early in the third quarter to stake Canada to a 17-0 lead. Nyhus finished the game completing seven of 10 passes for 93 yards.

The six-foot-two, 205 pound Nyhus also quarterbacked Saskatchewan to a bronze medal finish at the 2015 Canada Cup, earning the tournament’s offensive MVP accolades. This highly sought after pivot was recruited by NCAA, CIS and Junior teams but looks to be staying in the province, committing to the University of Saskatchewan.

 

 

 

 

 

Extremely Honest Valentine’s Day Cards

happy v day

I want your heart as badly as Cam Newton wanted that fumble.

You complete me. Because of you I am completely miserable, completely hopeless, completely celibate . .

I love the way you dance like no one is watching. Except when I’m watching. Because you look like an idiot.

‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have to stay with him when he starts to get fat.

A Valentine’s rhyme that’s not a tongue twister: Would it be cool if I slept with your sister?

I was gonna buy you a necklace or a ring . . . but now you’ll have to settle for Burger King.

A Recap of Super Sunday!

THE TOP THINGS WE LEARNED FROM

SUPER BOWL 50

Now that Super Bowl 50 is in the books, let’s do a quick review of what happened yesterday with this list of The Top Things We Learned From Super Bowl 50.

-If anyone ever tells you a football game is “defensive,” that means it sucks.

-If you took a shot for every punt, you’re now dead.

HGH works!

-Even Beyoncé can’t make Coldplay seem anything less than blindingly white.

-Helen Mirren still looks hot for 152.

-Ron Rivera likes sunglasses that make him look like an amateur pornographer.

-Watching grown men degrade their future mental capacities is FUN! Especially when there’s chips and guacamole.

-If the Super Bowl halftime show was a Happy Meal, Bruno Mars would be the toy.

–We should’ve watched the Puppy Bowl.

Don’t Worry Be Happy!

be happy

 

Apparently the activity that makes people the happiest is HAVING SEX.  And I agree . . . it’s always the best 74 seconds of my year.

A new survey asked people what activities make them the happiest and saddest.

The seven things that make us happiest are:  Having sex . . . going to see a movie or a play . . . going to a library or a museum . . . playing sports . . . gardening . . . singing . . . and talking with friends.

The seven things that make us saddest are:  Being sick in bed . . . working or studying . . . taking care of someone older . . . standing in line . . . doing bookkeeping or other financial work . . . meetings . . . and commuting.

One other little twist:  People with kids LIKED being at work more than people who are married but don’t have kids.

More Winter?

It’s Groundhog Day which means the nation is focused on whether or not Wiarton Willie sees his shadow this morning.  Let’s see how he’s handling all the attention with this list of The Top Things Wiarton Willie is Thinking this Morning.

 

 

 

Okay people, get your Bill Murray jokes out of the way.  I got a job to do.

 

 

Don’t these idiots realize I have no clue how to predict weather?  Sorry.  That’s something Jeff the Pig Spleen guy is thinking this morning.

 

 

I wanna nail that thing on Trump’s head.

 

 

Every time I see Wiarton I’m reminded how lucky I am to live in a hole.

 

 

I just did more work this morning than  Chad and Ballsy and all the Kardashians combined have done this month.

 

I wish I could trade places with Honolulu Hal.

 

 

2016 International Bowl

international bowl

 

A couple of Regina boys were keys to victory as the Canada Under-18 National Team defeated the U.S. Under-19 Select Team, 31-13, on Sunday night at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. Defensive back Nicolas Cross (Regina, Sask.) stepped in front of a pass over the middle and returned it for a touchdown for Canada in the 3rd quarter. Cross also had a fumble recovery which was good enough to earn his game MVP honours.. Riffel Royals QB Mason Nyhus had two 1 yard TD plunges in the first half. Besides Cross and Nyhus, the Canada Under-18 team features three other Regina boys in Kyle Borsa, Bowen Pisula, and Josh Haggerty.

In yesterday’s other game, the Under 19 U-S team beat the Under 19 Canada team 33-0. Regina’s own Nick Dhailley lines up for team Canada on the defensive line. You can follow all the action on-line at www.internationalbowl.com