Monthly Archives: January 2016

Chris Jones Meets With The Fans!

 

chris jones

Last night 250 people jammed the Wylie Mitchell Hall in Estevan as new Riders Mr. Everything Chris Jones met with Rider fans for the first time since taking over the team. Jones only has 3 public speaking engagements scheduled this off-season so fans were very eager to hear what he had to say and he didn’t disappoint. Below are a few of the highlights:

 

Me: Coach did you find a place to  live yet?

Jones: I’m a football junkie. I’m at the office from 3 am to 7pm. I’m never home, so I’m going to do what I did in Edmonton and live in a hotel. Somebody makes my bed everyday, I come home and my meal is made for me.  All my clothes will be in my locker at the stadium. I’ve got 5 black shirts and 3 pairs of jeans and then my team gear that’s it!

 

Me: Have you talked to Dressler or Chick since you released them?

Jones: I talked to John at length before I made the decision. On the plane flying in for this banquet I was sitting next to Weston. It was a good conversation. I told him there are no hard feelings on my end , it’s just business. I said Weston you are great player and  I wish you the best in Winnipeg. He mentioned that he liked our new strength and conditioning coach. I told Weston he’s welcome to workout at our facility anytime. I respect the kid! It wasn’t an easy decision to release those guys, I had many sleepless nights. Bottom line I can’t have 3 or 4 guys making 1/3 of our salary structure. It’s the CFL and we need to be realistic about player’s salaries in this league.

Me: How is Darian Durant’s rehab process going? Are you nervous about him making a full recovery?

Jones: We won’t know for sure until we hit the field but things appear to be moving along nicely. I expect to get at least two good healthy years out of Darian for sure. When healthy he’s a tough SOB to play against; a squatty, tough, smart QB.

Me: What about your backup quarterback situation?

Jones: I like Brett Smith, he’s a good player but we are going to be working guys out to find that next guy. In this league you need 3 good quarterbacks. In fact I’ll be joining a couple of my assistants in Texas this weekend to work 3 guys out..

Me: Most of your coaching staff followed you to Regina from Edmonton, can we expect some of that same loyalty with the players when free agency kicks off?

Jones: (laughs) I sure hope so! We will be active in free agency but we won’t be spending what I like to call credit card money. What I found interesting after  taking over this job was the fact players were paid extremely well here.

Me: Did you think management had to over pay to get players to come to Saskatchewan?

Jones: I don’t know but it won’t happen now! We won’t be cheap. We’ll be fair and realistic!

Me: Speaking of realism, what’s your realistic expectation for this team this season?

Jones: ( He’s never missed the playoffs in 14 years in the CFL) I’ll tell you one thing… this is going to be fun. My realistic expectation? To win the Grey Cup! I play to win!!

Jones is definitely as advertised; no-nonsense and full of confidence. But I think he surprised people last night with his friendly down to earth nature. He took pictures and shook hands with the fans and really seemed to enjoy his first speaking engagement.  I’m officially stoked for 2016 in Rider Nation!

 

 

 

 

 

Dating Deal Breakers And Sex At The Gym!

dating

 

Say you’re on a date with someone who’s great in all the most important ways . . . they’re attractive, they’re good-looking, they’re really hot.  You’ll probably give them a little leeway if they don’t see eye-to-eye with you on everything.

 

 

Except for these.  A new survey by OKCupid found the six dating questions that are GUARANTEED instant deal breakers.

 

 

So if you don’t agree on the answers to these six broad questions, you’re doomed.

 

 

1.  Do you discriminate against any race?  The most common answer is “no.”

 

2.  Is interracial marriage a bad idea?  The most common answer is “no.”

 

3.  Do you do any drugs harder than weed?  The most common answer is “none.”

 

4.  How often do you shower?  The most common answer is “at least once a day.”

 

5.  How often do you brush your teeth?  The most common answer is “at least twice a day.”

 

6.  Do you think using contraceptives is morally wrong?  The most common answer is “no.”

 

 

Um . . . is there an orgy going on at the gym when I’m not there?

 

 

Pumping Iron or someone!

 

A new survey found 25% of single people say they’ve had SEX at the gym . . . in the past YEAR.  How is that possible?  Doesn’t that seem ridiculously high?

 

 

Here are some more results from the survey that’ll make you want to use EXTRA hand sanitizer after you touch ANY surface at the gym . . .

 

 

1.  20% of people say they’ve had sex with their personal trainer.

 

 

2.  70% of women have fantasized about their trainer while they were getting-it-on with someone else.

 

 

3.  10% of people carry condoms in their gym bag.

 

 

4.  And 66% fantasize about sex at the gym to help push their workout.

It sure gives  new meaning to “getting ridden hard by your trainer.”

Are You Looking For a Deal?

deals

According to “Consumer Reports”, here are the five things you should buy this month, if you’re in the market. Because they’re cheaper now than any other time of the year . . .

1. Toys, because the holidays are over. So you might want to do some shopping early if your kid has a birthday coming up soon.

2. Exercise equipment, specifically treadmills and elliptical machines. Stores want to clear them out so they can get new ones in.

3. Televisions. Historically, they’re cheaper in January than any other month.

4. Winter clothes. Stores have to start making room for all their spring stuff.

5. Bedding, specifically sheets. They’re always on sale in January. It dates back to 1878, when the owner of a department store in Philadelphia did it.

 

A Wild Wild Card Weekend!

 The Vikings’ Kicker Blew It, Because the Laces Were Out

The Minnesota Vikings lost their playoff game to the Seahawks 10 to 9 yesterday . . . because with 22 seconds left, their kicker missed a 27-yard field goal. (Search for “Vikings Kicker Misses Field Goal and Loses Playoff Game.”)

The replay showed the laces were out, which reminded a lot of people of Ray Finkle, who missed a 26-yarder in “Ace Ventura”. (Here’s Jim Carrey visiting his house.)

There are also a bunch of videos making the rounds of angry Vikings fans reacting to the kick. (Search for “Poor Vikings Fans Shot the Saddest Videos.” Warning: Most of them include F-bombs!)

: The Bengals Had a Complete Meltdown

The Bengals lost to the Steelers on Saturday when they fumbled with 90 seconds left . . . got a 15-yard penalty for targeting a receiver’s head . . . and then got another 15-yard penalty when Pacman Jones tried to shove one of the Steelers’ coaches.

Once all that happened, the Steelers were in field goal range . . . made the kick . . . and won 18 to 16. (Search for “Bengals Have Complete Meltdown.”)

Jones posted a video after the game where he blamed the refs, and dropped five F-bombs in 12 seconds. Then he deleted it and posted one where he was a lot calmer, but someone else reposted the first video too. (You can watch both videos here.)

And the other big moment was the crazy touchdown catch by Steelers receiver Martavis Bryant, when he pinned the ball against the back of his leg . . . flipped forward . . . and still hung onto it somehow. (Search for “Bryant Goes Into Flip Mode.”

Sweet Dreams!

dreams

 

It’s pretty much impossible to change your sleeping position.  But if you were ever going to tweak it, this would be why.

 

 

A new study found that the types of DREAMS you have just might be connected to the position you sleep in.  Check it out . . .

 

 

1.  People who sleep on their left side are most likely to have NIGHTMARES.

 

 

2.  People who sleep on their right side are most likely to have dreams where they feel relief or safety . . . and they have better quality sleep overall.

 

 

3.  And people who sleep face down are most likely to have SEX dreams . . . possibly because they’re getting less air, which makes them feel like they’re being bound and restrained.  (Daily Mail)

(They didn’t find any dream pattern for people who sleep on their backs.  I’m guessing their most common dream is getting through one night without their significant other waking them up to complain about how they’re snoring.)

 

 

 

Ronda Rousey Is Back!

ronda

 

It looks like RONDA ROUSEY will appear in the “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit Issue again, but in a PAINTED on bathing suit.  The editor posted a picture of a woman’s painted backside.  You can’t see her face, but two tattoos pretty much give Ronda away.

 

Other Ballsy Sports Shorts

 

The Chargers, Rams, and Raiders all want to move to Los Angeles.  I hate to tell you guys, but nobody’s interested in your screenplay.

 

Johnny-Manziel-Cleveland-Browns

Johnny Manziel reportedly tried to go incognito by wearing a blonde wig and fake mustache at a club in Vegas Saturday night.  Manziel should keep that costume because he might want to use it soon standing in the unemployment line.

 

jameis

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston turns 22 today.  If you’d like to get him a gift, you can’t go wrong with a fistful of stolen crab legs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year! What Is Your Resolution?

fresh start

Google just released the “how to” questions that got the biggest jump in searches over the past few weeks. They say it shows the most popular New Year’s resolutions.

That’s not QUITE accurate . . . it’s more like the questions that are connected to the more common New Year’s resolutions we all know and love, like losing weight or getting a new job. Anyway, check ’em out . . .

1. How to get rid of stress.

2. How to make kale chips.

3. How much water should I drink to lose weight?

4. How to write a resignation letter.

5. How to cook lentils.

6. How to cook cabbage.

7. How to write a letter of recommendation.

8. How to cook collard greens.

9. How to steam broccoli.

10. How to crochet a beanie. (???)