Monthly Archives: December 2015

Should You Dump Em Now?

 

dumping

Here’s the ultimate question for anyone who’s on the verge of ending their relationship: Should you break up now . . . or stick it out through Christmas and THEN end it?

There’s no right answer, but there’s definitely a popular one. And it is . . . rip off the Band-Aid and dump ’em now.

A study analyzed when people change their Facebook relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single.” And the PEAK of the entire year is . . . right now.

More people break up in the two weeks before Christmas than any other time.

And really, it makes sense. Most relationship experts say you should end things now instead of waiting because you’re not doing anyone any favors by staying in it.

No matter what, the memories of this Christmas will be ruined . . . might as well ruin them early and NOT have to deal with a bunch of activities together and give each other gifts.

But, NO ONE dumps anyone ON Christmas . . . it has the lowest break-up rate of the year.

What Did He Say?

gilbert arenas

NBA free agent GILBERT ARENAS went off on the WNBA, saying the women should be hotter and should dress sexy.  He compared them to the cast of “Orange is the New Black” and said, quote, “Don’t get me wrong, they have few cutie pies but there’s a whole lotta bean pies running around.”

If that wasn’t enough, he added this, quote, “If you think this is sexist, 9 times out of 10 you the ugly one and we didn’t pay to come see you play anyway.”

The WNBA and several players put Gilbert on blast. Like Elena Delle Donne, who said, quote, “Women were not put on this Earth just for men to look at. #ByeGilbert”

–The Heisman Trophy is named after a football coach from the early 1900s named John Heisman. His biggest contribution to the game was having the center snap the ball to the quarterback. Before that, the center used to just put it on the ground.

–The Browns are playing the Seahawks this Sunday, so Cleveland coach Mike Pettine called Russell Wilson a “second-tier quarterback.” And Wilson called Pettine a “soon-to-be-fired head coach.”

–Boxer Manny Pacquiao turns 37 today. He wanted a piñata, but his family was afraid it might hit back and knock him out.

–Former UFC light-heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell turns 46 today. Chuck has had an amazing career. He’s knocked more people out than fraternity party cocktails.

HollyWolf Report

bradley

 

 

During her “10 Most Fascinating People” special tomorrow night, 86-year-old BARBARA WALTERS lays it right out there for BRADLEY COOPER. She tells him, quote, “I find you very screwable.” She also calls him handsome and sexy.  Yuck senior’s sex!

 

 

kim ass

If you type “lard-ass” on some cell phones, it’ll auto-correct to “Kardashian.” That’s amusing for a very obvious physical reason. But it also makes sense, because ‘L-A-R-D-A,’ is just ONE letter off of ‘Karda.’ That my friends are why they are called SmartPhones.

 

 

The “Hollywood Reporter” says advance ticket sales for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” have surpassed $100 million in North America alone. And it could top out at $120 million. The previous record-holder was “The Dark Knight Rises”, with $25 million.

 

 

POISON drummer RIKKI ROCKETT is battling oral cancer. He was diagnosed in July and just finished several weeks of chemo and radiation. He says he got it from HPV, but doesn’t know how he contracted that.

 

 

 

To say BEYONCÉ is “lit up like a Christmas tree” is more than just an expression in this case.

 

Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex, BAR REFAELI, in lingerie.

 

KIM KARDASHIAN posted some behind-the-scenes photos from her 2007 “Playboy” photo shoot. I forgot how much more human she used to look.

 

In TOM BRADY’s house, it’s GISELE who puts the star on the Christmas tree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bad Santa!

bad santa

If you’re doing a Secret Santa gift exchange at work, your best case scenario is a gift card. And your worst case scenario is . . . well, literally anything else. ESPECIALLY stuff like this . . .

A new survey by CareerBuilder asked people for the weirdest thing they ever got from a coworker in a gift exchange. Here are the top eight:

1. A squirrel toilet seat decal.

2. A roll of duct tape.

3. A giant heart shaped box of candy leftover from Valentine’s Day.

4. A picture of a bear.

5. A bowling ball.

6. A bell on a string.

7. A ceramic sheep with different outfits.

8. And homemade sausages.

The survey also found 54% of companies plan on giving their employees a holiday bonus this year

Wanna Bet On Your Love?

love

Ask any couple if their marriage will last forever, and they’ll tell you “Of course!” But how many would be willing to bet big money on that? There’s a crazy new startup that’s going to find out.

A company in Seattle called SwanLuv will give you a loan for your wedding of up to $10,000. And you don’t have to pay it back unless you get DIVORCED. Then you owe them the money . . . plus interest.

The CEO of SwanLuv says they ran the numbers, and they CAN be profitable with this model. Quote, “It comes back to statistics. We have the right odds so we’ll be okay.” But he thinks the the odds aren’t TOO crazy, so people will still bite.

When you apply, they’ll evaluate how strong a couple you are. Then they base the amount of the loan and your interest rate off that. There will also be clauses . . . like if the marriage ends because of abuse, the abuser has to pay the full amount.

If you’re interested, you can pre-register at SwanLuv.com . . . that’s spelled S-W-A-N-L-U-V. They’ll officially start giving out loans in March.

Tis The Season To Argue

xmas fighting

  

Nothing says “Christmas” like fighting with the people you love!

A new survey found the most common arguments that couples get into around Christmas.  Here are the top 10 . . .

1.  Who’s cooking Christmas dinner.

2.  Where to spend Christmas Day.

3.  Whose family to visit over the holidays, which is kinda similar.

4.  How much to spend on presents for other people.

5.  Who does the dishes after Christmas dinner.

6.  How much to spend on each other.

7.  Whether you should take extra time off of work for the holidays.

8.  What to watch on TV on Christmas Day.

9.  What presents to buy the kids.

10.  Whether you got too drunk on Christmas.

 

WATCH OUT FOR THE MALL SANTA!

 

THE TOP SIGNS YOU’RE SEEING

A BAD MALL SANTA

MALL SANTA

If you plan on taking your to kids to your local mall to see Santa this weekend, we hope it turns out to be a fun and memorable time. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case if you encounter anything from this list of The Top Signs You’re Seeing a Bad Mall Santa.

His breath makes Johnny Manziel woozy.

When kids ask where Mrs. Claus is, he says, “In the kitchen. Where women BELONG!”

His belly jiggles when he laughs. Unfortunately, you know this because he’s shirtless.

The elves say “Merry Christmas” and hand you a stocking full of ketchup packets.

That’s not a gray beard, it’s just a ton of really long untrimmed nose hairs.

     

     

    Ballsy’s Sports Shorts….

    By now, we all agree TIGER WOODS is past his prime. He turns 40 this month . . . hasn’t won a PGA tournament in two years . . . hasn’t won a major in over seven years . . . and sexually, he’s a shell of his former self.

    So when did his golf career PEAK? Well, he just did an interview with “Time” magazine . . . and says it was probably when he was ELEVEN. (???)

    By that point, he’d won 113 tournaments as a junior golfer, and he was undefeated as an 11-year-old.

    Quote, “I went 36 and 0 that year . . . and I probably had the cutest girlfriend in all of sixth grade. And I had straight A’s . . . I peaked at 11, [and] I’ve been trying to get back to that since.”

    NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said, quote, “I think our officials do an extraordinary job.” Did you watch the blown call last night at the end of the Lions and Packers game? Sounds like the mandatory drug testing in the NFL needs to include the Comish.

    Becca Pizzi is vying to be the first American woman to run seven marathons in seven days on seven continents. Sure, but can she shoot Cheetos out of her nose?

    A South African appeals court has convicted Oscar Pistorius of murder. They ruled that a famous athlete can’t get away with murder because it’s not 1995.

    A Major Death in the Rock World!

    scott weiland

    SCOTT WEILAND was found dead on his tour bus in Minnesota last night. He was 48. There’s no word on a cause of death, but he struggled with substance abuse for decades . . . so there’s a decent chance it was an overdose.

    Scott was on tour with his band Scott Weiland & The Wildabouts. They were supposed to perform last night, but his body was found at 9:00 P.M. So it sounds like it was right before they were supposed to go on.

    Obviously he was most famous as the lead singer for STONE TEMPLE PILOTS in the ’90s. It was impossible to avoid the first STP album “Core” in 1992, because of “Sex Type Thing”, “Plush”, and “Wicked Garden”.

    It happened again in 1994 with “Interstate Love Song”, “Vasoline”, and “Big Empty” off their second album, “Purple”.

    He also sang for VELVET REVOLVER, with the guys from GUNS N’ ROSES. But his relationships with both bands didn’t end well, because of the drugs. He missed shows, went to rehab, got multiple DUIs, and was arrested for buying crack.

    Last night, Dave Navarro Tweeted, quote, “Just learned our friend Scott Weiland has died. So gutted, I’m thinking of his family tonight.” He later deleted it.

    The guitarist for The Wildabouts died from drugs this year too.

    Ballsy’s Sports Shorts

    There’s only been one seven-foot player in the NFL. Richard Sligh was exactly seven feet, and played defensive tackle for the Oakland Raiders for one season in 1967.  In other words, he was six-feet taller than Johnny Manziel.

    TEBOW

    Tim Tebow’s girlfriend reportedly broke up with him because he wouldn’t have sex. Don’t worry about Tim. Thanks to the Broncos, Jets, Patriots and Eagles, he’s used to being dumped for not scoring.

    After Sunday’s big win over the Patriots, there’s talk that Peyton Manning has lost his job as starting quarterback of the Denver Broncos to Brock Osweiler:  Try fitting that into a Nationwide jingle, Peyton.

     

     kobe

    Kobe Bryant will retire at the end of the season:

    . . . Which is tough news for diehard Lakers fans. And even WORSE news for unsuspecting Colorado hotel employees.

    . . BTW. Your move, Peyton Manning