Monthly Archives: May 2015

Who Is Winning The Grey Cup?

STAMPS WIN

 

According to the betting site BoDog the Calgary Stampeders are 10/3 favourites to repeat as Grey Cup champions.   The Riders and Eskimos are next at 5/1 followed by Hamilton at 6/1.  Rounding out the field are the Alouettes and Argonauts (8/1), the Blue Bombers (10/1) and the RedBlacks (20/1).

Saskatchewan_Roughriders_logo_svg

Day 2 of Rider rookie camp goes today at Mosaic Stadium, it’s open to the public and begins at 11:45am. Riders G-M Brendan Taman was on The Wolf Morning Show yesterday and predicted a 12-6 record for his club.

Scott_Schultz_2007_014428

Congratulations to former Rider Scott Schultz as he’s being inducted into the Plaza of Honour this fall. Riders assistant GM Jeremy O’Day will inducted “The Old 96er”. Of course Schultz remains close to the game as part of our game day coverage on 620 CKRM. Man have we accumulated a roster of football experts. Our roster in no particular order: Schultz, Luc Mullinder, Mike McCullough, Neal Hughes, Wes Cates and Jason Clermont. It’s hard to believe the season is upon us but I’m excited for it get rolling!

 

OTHER SPORTS SHORTS…

 

Warren Sapp will undergo “hooker rehab” for soliciting prostitutes.  All I know is that if a Hall of Famer with a Super Bowl ring has to pay for sex, I’m screwed.

 

 

14 officials associated with soccer’s governing body FIFA have been charged with corruption.  Their crime?  Conspiring to make the world believe soccer is a cool sport.

 

 

 

Michael Oher is 29.  Offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens whose life inspired “The Blind Side”.

 

 

58 years ago . . . In 1957, National League club owners voted to let the BROOKLYN DODGERS move to L.A. and let the NEW YORK GIANTS move to San Francisco.  The Mets were founded five years later to fill the National League void that left in New York.

 

Our friend Jordan Eberle  of the Edmonton Oilers is coming back to Regina for the 9th Annual Stix On Rose. That event goes down on the corner of 12th and Rose in downtown Regina on June 19th. Eberle will be in the Queen City from August 6th to the 8th as he’s hosting a hockey school. Go to jordaneberlehockeyschool.com for more information.

 

GONE VIRAL

 

 

A Leg Cramp That Looks Like Something’s Moving Under a Guy’s Skin

 

 

Some guy took a Snapchat video of a weird cramp he got in his calf after he worked out.  And it’s gotten about two million hits this week.  The weird thing is it doesn’t just tense up, it looks like there’s something alive and moving around under his skin.

 

 

(Search for “What Is Going on with This Guy’s Leg in His Snapchat Story?“)

 

 

 

A Guy’s Cat Helps Him Sing “If You’re Happy and You Know It”

 

 

There’s a video making the rounds of a Portuguese guy singing “If You’re Happy and You Know” with his cat.  He sings the words in Portuguese, and the cat meows at the part where you clap your hands.

 

 

But it only meows once each time, when you’re supposed to clap twice.  Lame.  (???)  (Search for “Watching This Cat Sing ‘If You’re Happy And You Know It’ Will Make You Happy

 

WEDDING BELLS….

 

If you’re debating between quickly eloping to Vegas or having a massive wedding with 300 guests, a performance by Tom Jones, and a flyover by the SnowBirds . . . listen up.

 

 

Slate.com put together a calculator that figures out how much money you’d have now if you took your wedding budget and INVESTED it instead.  They used the S&P 500 as the basis for their investing.

 

 

You just put in how many years you’ve been married, and how much you spent on your wedding . . . and it delivers the MORTIFYING TRUTH.

 

 

Like, if you got married five years ago and spent $10,000, it would be worth more than $20,000 now.

 

 

If you got married 20 years ago and spent $10,000, it would be worth more than $65,000 now.

 

 

Just Google ‘Did You Spend Too Much on Your Wedding?’

 

WIN THE DAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Motorhead Grows Eggs!

MOTORHEAD

 

A British farmer says music doubles the size of the eggs her chickens lay. She plays them a little bit of everything, including classical and MARIAH CAREY. But they’re partial to MOTORHEAD. Quote, “They seem fascinated by it all . . . [But] a bit of ‘Ace of Spades’ is probably their favorite.”

 

A guy in Kenya is offering a massive dowry for Malia Obama’s hand in marriage, including 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 goats. Malia is only 16. The guy hopes to make his offer to President Obama in person when he visits Kenya in July.

• The series premiere of “The Briefcase” at 8:00 p.m. on CBS. Two families are  offered a briefcase full of $101,000 in cash. They can keep as much of it as they want . . . and told that whatever they don’t keep goes to the other family.

“Celebrity Wife Swap” at 10:00 p.m. on ABC. Verne ‘Mini Me’ Troyer and former NFL star Hines Ward exchange women.

Hulk Hogan is talking to Sylvester Stallone about taking a part as “the most evil man in the world” in the fourth “Expendables” movie. Hulk would play the studio executive who agrees to make a fourth “Expendables” movie.

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

A former college football player in Iowa was paralyzed from the neck down in 2010. And doctors said he only had a 3% chance of regaining any movement. Then he spent the next four-and-a-half years in rehab WHILE getting his degree. And last Sunday, he WALKED across the stage at his graduation to accept his diploma.

(Watch the video here.)

 

Two Guys Played a Giant Game of Tic-Tac-Toe at an NBA Game, and Blew It

Two guys got to play a giant game of tic-tac-toe at half-court before the fourth quarter of the Rockets-Warriors game on Monday. Each time they made a lay-up, they could put a huge “X” or an “O” on a giant game board.

But the crowd actually started booing about halfway through, because both of them were TERRIBLE. One guy had a chance to win and blew it . . . and the other guy had TWO chances to win. But it ended in a tie.

(Search for “Tic-Tac-Toe Fail During Houston Rockets NBA Game.” The first guy blows it at :39. )

 

 

 

New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski was caught on video motorboating a woman’s boobs. He later said he was just making sure they were inflated properly.

 

 

Eric Bischoff is 60. The only man ever to scare Vince McMahon. In the late ’90s he took over World Championship Wrestling and made it more successful than Vince’s WWF . . . at least, for a few years, until Vince put WCW out of business.

 

 

Let’s Upset Your Vegan Friends…

VEGAN

 

Here’s something to drive your vegetarian friends nuts.  It’s ten weird things that actually DO have meat in them . . .

 

 

1.  Bananas, unless they’re organic.  One of the main pesticides they use to keep them from ripening too quickly is made from shrimp and crab shells.

 

 

2.  Guinness.  They use fish bladders to filter the yeast out.  But it’s such a small amount, they don’t have to list it in the ingredients.

 

 

3.  Orange juice with omega-3.  The omega-3 comes from fish oil.

 

 

4.  Marshmallows.  They used to be made with something called marshmallow root.  But now most companies use gelatin, which is made from animal by-products.

 

 

5.  Altoids.  Again, they use gelatin, except in the “sugar-free” kind.

 

 

6.  Bagels.  Some kinds have an enzyme in the dough made from bird feathers.

 

 

7.  Parmesan.  Some vegetarians are okay with cheese.  But parmesan is made with something called animal rennet . . . which comes from the stomach lining of calves.

 

 

8.  Figs.  Technically, they contain meat sometimes, because wasps have a habit of burrowing inside them and getting stuck.  Then the enzymes in the figs convert their bodies into protein.

 

 

9.  Peanuts.  Some brands make the salt stick by using gelatin made from pig hooves.

 

 

10.  Potato chips.  Some of them ARE vegan, but a lot of them have chicken or beef fat.  Especially barbecue chips.

 

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

The Chicago Bears cut defensive lineman RAY MCDONALD after he was arrested for allegedly striking a woman who was holding a baby.  It was probably his fiancée and their baby, although the police report doesn’t say that.  She accused him of domestic violence last year, too.

 

 

22 years ago . . . In 1993, Cleveland’s CARLOS MARTINEZ hit a fly ball that bounced off outfielder JOSE CANSECO’S head and over the right field wall for a home run

 

Japan builds the world’s fastest pitching machine – throwing a baseball at a blazing 143mph. Step up and take a swing. Come on, are you chicken?

 

In the early days of baseball, between 1840 and 1850, a fielder put a runner out by hitting him with the ball.

 

 

The fuzz on a tennis ball keeps it from bouncing too high, and lets the racket get a better ‘grip’ on it.

 

 

A bowling pin only needs to tilt 7.5 degrees to fall down

 

 

The phrase ‘It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.’ In ancient Roman wrestling, eye gouging was the only forbidden thing.

 

 

GONE VIRAL

An Alligator Rips a Guy’s Bumper Off His Truck

 

 

A video called Gator vs. Truck picked up millions of hits on YouTube over the weekend.  It’s some idiot taunting an alligator by driving his truck right up to it.  But the alligator WINS, when it latches on to his front bumper, and rips it off.

 

 

 

An Idiot Grabs a Waitress’s Butt, and She Decks Him with a Menu

 

 

This kind of seems set up, but there’s security footage of a guy at a restaurant in Russia, trying to pay by shoving cash down a waitress’s shirt . . . and she DECKS him.

 

 

First she slaps him.  Then he grabs her butt, so she nails him in the side of the face with a menu.  Then she hits him again, hard enough to actually knock him down.   (Search for “Waitress Groped by Customer Gets Revenge with a Menu.”)

 

 

 

A Guy Dressed as Spider-Man Does a Backflip and Knocks Himself Out

 

 

Some guy in Argentina dressed up as Spider-Man recently, and did a bunch of lame flips and tricks at a kid’s birthday party.  Then he tried to do a backflip, but his feet slipped when he landed, and he face-planted and knocked himself out.

 

 

(Search for “Spiderman Eats It Big Time.” 

 

WIN THE DAY

The Who Would Like You To Stop Smoking Pot

Video of The Who Stopping a Show to Complain About Pot Smoking 

 

 

THE WHO stopped a show in Long Island on Wednesday to complain about the excessive amount of marijuana smoke that was wafting up to the stage.  ROGER DALTREY threatened to end the show early if they didn’t stop.

 

 

So, is this a case of some old fogies harshing the vibe?  Well, not really.

 

 

In the past, Roger has said that while he used to smoke pot, he’s developed a severe allergy to cigarette and marijuana smoke, and it can completely shut down his voice.  And now, the crowd is asked not to smoke at Who shows.

 

 

(Here’s UNCENSORED video of the Who demanding an end to the toking.)

 

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

 

1 Nolan Ryan has more strikeouts and no-hitters than any other pitcher in baseball history, and was a first-ballot Hall of Famer.  But he never won a Cy Young award for being the best pitcher in a season.

 

 

2  A 64-year-old in Los Angeles named Jon Sutherland has gone for a jog every single day for more than 45 years, which is a record.  He’ll celebrate his 46th anniversary on Monday.  The last time he didn’t go for a run was May 25th, 1969

 

 

3  The creative people behind the Fresno Grizzlies have a new edible concoction: The Frankenslice.

 

It’s a slice of pizza with a hot dog rolled into the crust.

 

The $7 Frankenslice debuted  last night during the Grizzlies’ “Halfway to Halloween” promo that included a haunted house. A limited number were available and if there was enough demand, they would be back Saturday. It’s America..the demand is there.

 

 

4   Professional Kenyan rugby star Collins Injera scored his 200th try in the World Seven Series this week and celebrated in what seems to be one of the most bizarre ways possible: by signing a camera lens. Having obviously prepared to score, he had placed a black pen in his sock during the entire game to be ready for such celebration. Here is the hilarious result that ended in ruining a $94,000 camera lens.

 

 

5   In the past 2 decades, 17 Super Bowls have been won by the team that hails from the city with the lower unemployment rate.

 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  Okay ladies . . . it’s time to awaken feelings you haven’t felt in 20 years:  “Us Weekly” got Joey Lawrence, Ian Ziering, Antonio Sabato Jr. and David Chokachi from “Baywatch” to pose SHIRTLESS.  (See the pics and video here.)

 

 

 

2.  JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT is showing off her naked baby belly to hype some stretch mark cream.

 

 

 

3.  MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ is jumping off yachts in a bikini again.  There’s no Zac Efron this time, but it’ll do.

 

 

 

 

 

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL is 37, and she was recently told she was too old to play the love interest of a 55-year-old actor.  She says, quote, “It made me feel bad, and then it made me feel angry, and then it made me laugh.”  She didn’t name the actor, though.

 

 

 

DAVID LETTERMAN’S last episode of “The Late Show” drew nearly 13.8 million viewers on Wednesday night.  That’s his biggest audience in two decades . . . but it fell about 800,000 viewers short of the audience for JAY LENO’S goodbye on “The Tonight Show” last year. Speaking of “Letterman”, they didn’t waste any time before trashing the show’s set.  The “New York Post” says the George Washington Bridge from the background was spared, but everything else was sent to the dump.  (Here are some photos.)

 

 

(This reminds us of that “Seinfeld” episode where Kramer finds the “Merv Griffin Show” set in a dumpster, and sets it up in his apartment.  Interesting Fact:  Like “Letterman”, that show also filmed at the Ed Sullivan Theater.)

 

Late Night Will Never Be The Same

There is a lot to get to today so BUCKLE UP!

david-letterman-retirement

DAVID LETTERMAN signed off for good last night with a show that was heavy on clips from his last 30-odd years on TV.  But one of the highlights was an all-star list of the “Top 10 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Say to Dave”.

 

 

It was delivered by, in this order, Alec Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Steve Martin, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Peyton Manning, Tina Fey, and Bill Murray.

 

 

Julia had the best line . . . quote, “Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale.”  Seinfeld’s reaction was pretty priceless . . . not that he didn’t know it was coming, of course.

 

 

(Here’s the video.  And you can read the whole thing here.)

 

 

The show started with video of the late President Gerald Ford saying, quote, “My fellow Americans, our long, national nightmare is over.”

 

 

 

 

Then all the LIVING presidents said it, ending with PRESIDENT OBAMA, who added, quote, “Letterman is retiring.”  Then Letterman walked into the frame and said, quote, “You’re just kidding, right?”  (Here’s video.)

 

 

Letterman’s final monologue started with a killer joke:  “So it’s beginning to look like I’m not going to get the ‘Tonight Show’.”  And, of course, later in the show he took a moment to wish good luck to his successor Stephen Colbert.

 

 

The FOO FIGHTERS closed out the night with Everlong . . . the song he asked them to play for his first show back from quintuple-bypass surgery in 2000.

 

 

And as part of his final farewell, Dave shared the story of how the band actually cancelled their tour 15 years so they could be there for him.

 

 

(Here’s video.  Dave tells that story at the 9:40 mark.)

 

 

Meanwhile, CONAN O’BRIEN was all class over at his TBS show.  When 11:35 rolled around, he actually told his viewers to start taping his show, and switch over to Letterman.  He also paid tribute to Letterman at the beginning of his show.

NEAL HUGHES

Dave wasn’t the only big name to retire yesterday. After 11 great seasons and 2 Grey Cup rings Neal Hughes is walking away from the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Hughes, who missed most of last season because of foot problems, says he’s fully healed but doesn’t have the drive need to play pro football. Now for the great news: Hughes is joining our broadcast crew on 620 CKRM. He’ll be one of the analysts on our pre-game show. In fact that panel will also be made up of Luc Mullinder, Mike McCullough, Jason Clermont and Wes Cates.

 

 

 

Is WWE Hall of Famer Sunny Getting Into Porn? 

 

 

WWE Hall of Famer SUNNY is apparently following in the footsteps of CHYNA, and working on a deal to begin a career as a MATTRESS ACTRESS.

 

 

Sources say there’s a six-figure deal on the table for her to do SEVERAL movies with Vivid Entertainment . . . and the company says, quote, “After the tremendous success of Chyna, this makes total sense.  Hoping we can work it out.”

 

 

Sunny is often referred to as the WWE’s first “diva”, although she was just eye candy, NOT a wrestler.  She was with the company from 1995 to 1998, and entered the Hall of Fame in 2011.  Her real name is TAMMY LYNN SYTCH.

 

 

(Here she is in her heyday . . . and here she is at her Hall of Fame induction.)

 

 

 

Wayne Gretzky was friends with Alan Thicke, and he used to babysit Robin Thicke. I wonder if Wayne makes loves to Robin’s music like Alan does..

 

 

 

The version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” we sing is really just the chorus.  The actual song has two verses about a woman who loves baseball and demands her boyfriend take her to a game instead of a movie.

 

 

 

The NFL voted to move extra points back to the 15-yard line.  Fortunately, this won’t affect the Oakland Raiders, because in order to kick an extra point, you first have to score a touchdown.

  

 SPORTS B-DAY

Josh Hamilton is 34.  Texas Rangers outfielder who can’t carry more than $10.00 on his person and must always travel with a team “buddy” because he loves to PAR-TAY!

 

Chris Benoit  would have been 48 today. (1967 – 2007)  WWE wrestler.  Was once known as one of the best technical pro wrestlers in history.  Now, he’ll be forever remembered as the sick maniac who murdered his wife and kid before hanging himself.

TIME FOR BALLSY’S GOSPEL….

 

(Benoit’s actions may very well have been the result of REPEATED CONCUSSIONS.  Tests done on his brain after his death showed that it was severely damaged, to the point that it resembled that of an 85-year-old Alzheimer’s patient.)

 

 

(The damage was also similar to that found in the brains of four retired NFL players who had also suffered multiple concussions and later sank into deep depressions and harmed themselves or others.)

 

 

Shut up you football “purists” who whine and complain that concussion awareness is sissifying football…

 

 If you hear that remind them Chris Benoit’s wife and 7-year-old son would love to be able to debate them on the subject of the long-term effects on concussions and who suffers because of them.  Unfortunately they CAN’T debate . . . because they’re DEAD.

 

GONE VIRAL…

 

A Killer Whale Tried to Eat a Guy’s Paddle Board

 

 

A guy was paddle boarding off the coast of New Zealand on Monday when a killer whale swam up and thought about EATING him for a second.

 

 

It tried to take a small bite out of the back of his board, but apparently didn’t like the taste of it, because it swam off.  He says things got a little tense for a minute though.

 

 

(Search for “Luke Reilly Stand-Up Paddle Boarding Orca.”  You can see it bite his board at :16.)

 

 

 

 You Can Relight a Candle by Lighting the Smoke

 

 

Here’s a good party trick . . . just don’t burn your friend’s house down.  Right after you blow out a candle, try lighting the trail of smoke coming off of it.  If you do it right, the flame travels down the smoke, and relights the wick.

 

 

It works because the smoke has little bits of wax in it, and that’s what’s burning.  (Search for “Brusspup – Amazing Fire Trick.”)

 

WIN THE DAY!

 

 

 

What Would Aliens Look Like?

 

ALIENS

If we ever do make alien contact, apparently we shouldn’t get our hopes up . . . they won’t be small and cuddly like ALF.

A mathematician and cosmologist at the University of Barcelona in Spain ran the numbers, and he says there’s a very high probability that the first aliens we meet will be the size of BEARS. Here’s why.

He says the majority of planets that could support life would be smaller than Earth. They’d have fewer living creatures than we do, and the ones that could potentially travel to other planets would be pretty big.

So, the average alien from a small planet would be about 692 pounds.

Of course, this whole thing is based on a LOT of assumptions, theories, and probabilities. It’s entirely possible the first alien that visits us is NOT that big. The odds just say it probably will be, so try to look surprised…

GEORGE CLOONEY says his wife AMAL left him hanging for a while when he proposed . . . quote, “I asked her, and she just kept saying, ‘Oh my, God,’ and ‘Wow,’ and we just sat there. And finally, I just said . . . ‘I’ve been on my knee for about 28 minutes so I gotta get an answer out of this because I’m gonna throw a hip out! I might not be able to stand back up.'”

Leonardo DiCaprio and Paris Hilton Got in a Bidding War Over a Purse

There are times when I’m glad I’m NOT rich and famous, and this is one of them: The “New York Post” says LEONARDO DICAPRIO and PARIS HILTON recently got in a bidding war over some fancy Chanel bag at a charity auction.

Leo ended up winning it . . . and he’s giving it to his mom. There’s no word how much he had to shell out to get it . . . but it’s actually worth $11,300. The event was raising money to provide healthcare to poor children around the world.

Billy Corgan and Marilyn Manson Talked About Forming a Band with Flavor Flav and Jenna Jameson

MARILYN MANSON and SMASHING PUMPKINS are going on tour this summer, and Marilyn and BILLY CORGAN did a press conference this week to hype it. That’s where we learned that they almost formed a band together in 1997.

It was going to be called FRUITY, after the feeling they got when they took muscle relaxers. And Billy said, quote, “I think there was a fantasy of what it would mean to have a band together, and then everyone we would meet would be in the band.

“Like Flavor Flav was in the band, [porn star] Jenna Jameson was in the band, but then it never happened.”

BACK IN THE DAY

115 years ago . . . In 1900, the SECOND SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES opened in Paris, France. They lasted FIVE MONTHS. Events included the 60-meter dash, women’s croquet, a swimming obstacle race and the tug-of-war.

95 years ago . . . In 1920, a radio station in Montreal, Quebec, called XWA began broadcasting the FIRST REGULARLY SCHEDULED RADIO PROGRAMMING in Canada.

Is This a UFO at a Golf Tournament in Florida?

The PGA Players Championship happened in Florida earlier this month. And some people think one of the cameramen accidentally got footage of a UFO.

The shot shows a golf ball flying through the air. Then for a split second, there’s a weird, dark object in the sky next to it . . . and they think it was a flying saucer.

At least one expert says everyone should settle down though, because it’s most likely a bird in the middle of flapping its wings. Or you just can’t see the wings because of the angle. (Search for “UFO Televised Over Golf Championship.”)

A NEW ERA FOR THE BOATMEN….

The Toronto Argonauts have found a new home and owner. TODAY it will be announced that the CFL team has been sold to  Bell and MLSE chairman Larry Tanenbaum.  Apparently the deal also includes a lease agreement for the Argos to begin play at BMO Field as early as next season.

 

Access Hollywoodasked Ronda Rousey if she could take down Floyd Mayweather, Jr.  She responded by basically calling him out on his domestic abuse allegations…

WIN THE DAY!

 

 

The Best Time To Talk To Your Man…..

 

fight

 

It’s amazing how much power you have over a man just by giving him food.

 

A new survey found the best time to get your husband to have a serious talk is . . . 8:15 P.M., right when he’s started eating dinner.  About half of men say that’s when they’re most ready and willing to listen.

 

The next best time is during a long drive.  The third best time is in front of your parents, because it’s harder for him to say “no” in front of his in-laws.  Although that’s a pretty underhanded move . . . are you really going to get honest answers that way?

The worst times to try to have a serious talk are:  When he’s playing video games . . . when he’s watching sports . . . and when he’s watching TV or a movie.

And finally, the worst way to get him into the conversation is by saying, “We need to talk.”  80% of men say that phrase scares them so much, they’ll do anything to avoid hearing what comes next.

 

 

 

Here’s a weird hypothetical question.  Would you spend the next 15 years of your life as a rich person’s SEX SLAVE for $8 million?  Here’s what’s even weirder . . . it’s actually happening to someone for real.

 

 

There’s a 22-year-old Japanese porn star named Rola Misaki, and an anonymous Chinese billionaire offered her $8 million to sign a 15-year contract to be his exclusive ‘personal assistant’ . . . and you know what that really means.

 

 

So let’s do the math.  That’s a salary of $533,333 a year before taxes.  Assuming this billionaire is only physically capable of having sex once a day, that’s approximately $1,461 every time she gets-it-on with him.

 

 

But when she’s done, it’ll be the year 2030 and she’ll be 37 years old.  That’s her entire young adult life, gone as a sex puppet . . . just a very highly paid one.

 

 

Apparently, she’s taking the deal.  (New York Daily News / Tokyo Reporter

 

 

HOLLYWOLF REPORT…..

NBC's "2015 iHeartRadio Music Awards" - Arrivals Behind the Line

TAYLOR SWIFT tops “Maxim” magazine’s 2015 Hot 100 list.  She says, quote, “It’s really nice and such an incredible compliment.  This year has been my favorite year of my life so far . . . It really feels like a wonderful celebration of my favorite year.”

 

 

 

SALMA HAYEK’s cleavage is a national treasure.

 

 

 

LUPITA NYONG’O has a habit of rocking every red carpet she walks down.  But in a bikini, she’s on another level

 

 

Is 57-year-old ANDIE MCDOWELL still sexy enough to show cleavage AND side-boob?  That’s affirmative.

 

 

Walking Dead” star NORMAN REEDUS has received some pretty crazy fan-mail . . . including sex toys, a breast implant, and Special Olympics medals.

 

 

 

Is It On Between David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar? 

 

 

SAMMY HAGAR has taken some shots at DAVID LEE ROTH and VAN HALEN recently, so it isn’t surprising that Dave would jab back at Sammy when he was asked if he’d sing any of Sammy’s songs on the Van Halen tour.

 

 

He said, quote, “Well, there’s a credibility issue there.  Good, bad, or in the middle, you know Roth means it, the other guy doesn’t.  And that’s why it sold half as well . . . never did better than half.  And why would you bring that into the proceedings?

 

 

“This hamburger don’t need no helper . . . ain’t no rehearsin’ pants in my closet.”  (Here’s video.  Skip to the 3:00 mark.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some people in Nashville are getting annoyed with aging rock stars who try their hand at country music.  CLAY WALKER is ticked off by the whole thing.  And WILL HOGE even coined a name for it.  He calls the trend “Carpetbagger Country”.

 

 

(Truth is, Steven Tyler and Bret Michaels aren’t really interested in being country performers.  They just want to sell records.  Once they realize the fans aren’t biting they’ll head over to Vegas or hit the road with REO SPEEDWAGON.)

 

 

(But they don’t represent all aging rockers.  Although he’s not that old, DARIUS RUCKER proved the genre will accept you, if there’s commitment.  Plus, ROBERT PLANT and ALISON KRAUSS’s album “Raising Sand” won a Grammy.)

 

 

 

President Obama finally got his own, personal Twitter account yesterday, @POTUS.  He’s already over 1.5 million followers . . . and hundreds of people have sent him sexual messages.  All of which are going to be archived under the Presidential Records Act.

 

 

Hundreds of people have tweeted him things like “spank me daddy,” “choke me daddy” and “sit on my face.”

 

 

 

Jaden Smith went to his prom dressed as a superhero.  Yep.  A superhero whose power is irrepressible nepotism.

 

 

 

Nikki Sixx says he’ll never play a Motley Crue song again.  “We’ll see about that,” said empty seats at his next concert.

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS….

 

Watch a Crazy Behind-the-Back Slam Dunk

 

 

A guy named Jordan Kilganon just posted a video of one of the best dunks you’ll ever see.

 

 

In mid-air, he tosses the ball behind his back . . . does a three-sixty . . . then dunks it with the same hand.  (Search for “Jordan Kilganon Hits Lost And Found.”)

 

 

 

 

Floyd Mayweather’s uncle has threatened to beat up a woman who used pepper spray on him after he relentlessly hit on her.  Ugh, why won’t these women just learn to take being aggressively belittled and objectified as a COMPLIMENT?

 

 

 

Odell Beckham Jr. will appear on the cover of “Madden 16”.  He’s an athlete who does incredible things with balls.  Like Bruce Jenner.  (Tweet This)

 

 

A burly Phillies fan stole a home run ball from an elderly woman at a recent game.  And in the process, he was officially named “classiest fan in Philadelphia history.”

 

 

Sports Round-Up:  A Tennis Player Takes a Champagne Cork to the Face . . . a Bullfighter Gets Gored . . . and a Batter Catches a Pitch and Throws It Back

 

 

Novak Djokovic won a tennis tournament in Rome Sunday.  Then he opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate, and the cork hit him in the FACE.  Luckily it hit his forehead, and didn’t get him in the eye.  (Search for “Djokovic Champagne Cork.”)

 

 

Also, a bullfighter in Spain got gored for the second year in a ROW last Thursday.  The bull got him in the stomach and the NECK, and he’s in serious condition.  (Search for “Spanish Bullfighter Is Gored in the Neck.”  It shows it in slow motion at :40.  Warning:  You can’t see much, but there’s definitely some blood.)

 

 

And a baseball player for Arizona State got hit by a pitch on Saturday.  But instead of bouncing off him, the ball got wedged under his arm.  So he just tossed it back to the pitcher.

 

 

The best part is the announcer, who sounds like he should be calling WWE matches instead of baseball games.  (Search for “Batter Hit by Pitch Catches Ball.”)

 

WIN THE DAY!

 

 

 

It’s Just A Name!

Time” magazine has a new feature that’s pretty cool.  It figures out what you’d be named if you were born TODAY.  And no, it doesn’t just spit out “Emma” for women and “Aiden, Brayden, or Jaden” for men.

 

 

Here’s how it works.  It looks up the popularity of your name from the year you were born, then shows you what name is currently ranked in that spot today.

 

 

So if you were born in 1977 and your name is Benjamin, that was the 29th most popular name that year.  If your parents gave you the 29th most popular name TODAY, it would be Christopher.

 

 

It also shows you what your name would’ve been in other decades.  So you would’ve been Luis in the 2000s . . . Travis in the 1990s . . . Carl in the 1950s . . . Theodore in the 1910s . . . Elmer in the 1900s . . . and, coincidentally, Benjamin in the 1890s.

 

 

You can check it out yourself . . . just Google “Find Out What Your Name Would be if You Were Born Today.”

My name if was born today would be Noah.. A real “NOAH” it all.

 

 

The 15 Types of People Who Sing Along to the Radio

 

 

A comedian named Chad Neidt is big on YouTube right now, because of a video where he impersonates the 15 types of people who sing along to the radio in the car.

 

 

He does the person who starts singing the chorus too soon . . . the guy who doesn’t know the words, but pretends he does . . . the person who always has to harmonize with everything . . . and twelve more that are all pretty good.

 

 

(Search for “15 Types of Car Radio Singers.”)

 

 

THE TOP THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUR THERAPIST

 

 

In honor of May being National Mental Health Month, we thought it’d be a good time to give you this list of The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Therapist.

 

 

I charge by the tissue.  Now, let’s talk about how you wound up in radio.

 

 

(CAREFUL) So what if you can’t maintain an erection.  All it means is you’re worthless.

 

 

Sorry.  Dozed off there.  Repeat that part about people not respecting you.

 

 

And that’s when it hit me:  Who needs a degree?  I’m getting all the training I need from watching “Dr. Phil” every day.

 

 

Bad news: you have multiple personalities.  Worse news:  none of them are interesting.

 

 

We’re making some amazing breakthroughs.  Speaking of, look at what’s trying to break through my PANTS!

 

 

Time to test out JUST how addicted you are to the Internet.

 

 

A new survey asked people what they’d rather give up:  Their Internet connection . . . or a FINGER.  And 29% went with the finger.

 

 

Your first instinct is probably, “Are they crazy?”  But think about it.  If I was going to completely cut off your Internet, wouldn’t you at least CONSIDER letting me cut off your pinky instead?

 

 

Only 46% of people in the survey said they’d definitely get rid of their Internet access . . . 25% were undecided

Would You Rather Wednesday

CASH REGISTER

 

Here’s a ‘would you rather’ question that’ll give you a pretty clear look at your priorities.

 

 

A new survey gave people a choice between two options:  Lose $3,000 . . . or gain 20 pounds?

 

 

And the big winner is . . . losing $3,000.

 

 

Men were split evenly . . . 50% said they’d rather lose the money, 50% would rather put on the weight.

 

 

But women were NOT . . . 61% said they’d rather give up $3,000 than gain 20 pounds.

 

 

Even among people making under $35,000 a year, 40% would still rather give up money than gain weight.

 

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

TOM BRADY’s balls may be deflated, but his supporters don’t seem to have that problem.  Some Patriots fans set up a Go Fund Me page to pay off the team’s $1 million Deflategate fine.  And as of last night, it had reached over $12,000.

 

 

The morons behind this insanity say, quote, “We obviously know we won’t reach One Million Dollars, however we do believe the fine is bull[crap] and want to help anyway we can.

 

 

“So whatever is donated will be donated to the New England Patriots in help with the fine! . . . If enough is made to make the travel, we will fly down there (on our own expenses) and deliver a check in person!”

(It’s their way of showing support for their team . . . and proving once and for all that they’re even more annoying than Eagles fans. I’ll have more on Brady later in this post.)

 

On the flip side, some Jets fans spent THEIR money buying up billboards that say “Tom SHADY”.

 

 

Meanwhile, New York Giants quarterback ELI MANNING says that when he heard about Deflategate, he tried throwing some under-deflated balls out of curiosity, and there was a, quote, “noticeable difference.”

 

 

But he said he’s not sure it would create an advantage.

 

 

 

Here We Go Again:  Tiger Woods May Have Cheated on Lindsey Vonn 

VONN

 

It’s shocking that this rumor took more than a week to get going, but here it is:  TIGER WOODS and LINDSEY VONN may have broken up over Tiger’s CHEATING.

 

 

So far, the only “proof” we have is a source talking to the not-always-reliable British tabloids.  This source says Tiger had a one-night stand after he was eliminated from the Farmers Insurance Open in February.

 

 

He actually CONFESSED to Lindsey, but obviously that didn’t win him any points

 

 

Hey, this is Tiger Woods, so change that “reportedly” to “definitely.”

 

 

 DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK

AARON RODGERS won $50,000 for charity on “Celebrity Jeopardy!” last night.  He beat astronaut Mark Kelly and “Shark Tank” star Kevin O’Leary . . . and got a Discount Doublecheck from ALEX TREBEK.

 

 

 

 

In the wake of the NFL’s Deflategate scandal, Major League Baseball is beefing up BALL SECURITY.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

THE TOP TOM BRADY TWEETS IF HE HAD TWITTER

 

 

Tom Brady doesn’t have a Twitter account . . . but we know he’d have a lot to say right now if he did.  So here are The Top Tom Brady Tweets if He Had Twitter.

 

 

@timtebow, any tips for watching games from the bench?

 

 

 

(CAREFUL) Hey @brettfavre at least I only deflated my balls instead of texting pictures of them.

 

 

@peytonmanning, you should deflate the size of your forehead.

 

 

Just kissed the prettiest girl in the world goodnight.  Then wiped the smudges off the mirror and gave a smooch to Gisele.

 

 

For the last time, @GiseleOfficial, quit stealing my eyeliner!

 

 

Hey NFL, thanks for the four game suspension based on ball pressure.  FYI, I had a teammate who’s a murderer.

 

 

(CAREFUL) Yeah, Gisele’s got a great rack . . . but I have to say Vince Wilfork’s is even better!

 

rams logo

 

Congrats to 3 Regina Rams who were chosen in yesterday’s CFL Canadian College Draft. WR Addison Richards went in round two to the Bombers while his teammates DB Tevaughn Campbell and OL Aaron Picton were taken by Calgary.

NicDemski_UMBisons_1020-620x350

With the sixth overall pick the Riders took Manitoba Bisons receiver and kick returner Nic Demski.

 

Lars Ulrich Did Not Wear a Thong During Metallica’s Rock in Rio Show 

 

 

METALLICA played the Rock in Rio festival in Las Vegas over the weekend.  Yes, it was Rock in RIO, but in Vegas.  Don’t ask.  I had nothing to do with it.

 

 

Somebody got a picture of drummer LARS ULRICH from behind, and it looks like he has a WHALE TAIL . . . in other words, he’s wearing a THONG.  It’s pretty convincing.

 

 

Sadly, though, he’s not.  Lars’ rep says it’s just a trick of light and shadow.  And if you look at the picture long enough, you can tell he’s right.  What looks like a red thong is just a shadow, and Lars is actually going COMMANDO.

 

 

(Check out the pic here.  Don’t worry . . . staring at this picture won’t make you gay.  If you feel any homosexual urges after looking at this photo, I have news for you:  You were ALREADY GAY.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.)

 

 

COME ON KIDS!

 

The newest fad parents are worried about that probably isn’t happening is called the “The Game of 72” . . . where you have to run away and not have any contact with your family for 72 hours.  (Full Story)

 

GONE VIRAL

 

GONE VIRAL

 

 

1.  A Paramedic Proposed to the Woman He Saved Three Years Ago

 

 

Three years ago, a 19-year-old woman in St. Petersburg, Florida named Melissa Dohme was stabbed by her boyfriend 32 times . . . and survived.

 

 

Then she started dating the paramedic who saved her, a guy named Cameron Hill.  (We told you about them in 2013 after they started dating.)

 

 

And on Monday, they got engaged.  Melissa threw out the first pitch at a Rays-Yankees game, and Cameron was supposed to bring the ball out to her on the mound.

 

 

But he also brought a ring . . . wrote, “Will you marry me?” on the ball . . . and she said yes.  (Search for “First Responder Proposes at Rays Game to Domestic Violence Survivor He Aided.”  It happens at :23.)

 

 

 

 

2.  A 102-Year-Old Tries to Blow Out Her Candles, and Spits Out Her Dentures

 

 

A woman in Connecticut named Louise Bonito celebrated her 102nd birthday on Sunday.  And when she tried to blow her candles out, she spit out her DENTURES instead.  They landed on the table, and she cracked up.

 

 

She did an interview about it later, and said she wasn’t embarrassed.  She was just happy to give her grandkids a good laugh.

 

 

(Search for “102-Year-Old Grandma Gives Family Hilarious Surprise.”  Warning:  The Instagram caption has the S-word.)

 

 

 

3.  A Game Show in Japan Did a Gross Cockroach Stunt

 

 

A 12-second clip from a game show in Japan is all over Facebook right now.  It’s two women on opposite ends of a clear, plastic tube that has a COCKROACH in the middle of it.  And they’re trying to blow it into the other person’s MOUTH.

 

 

We won’t tell you who wins . . . but the loser probably didn’t have to eat lunch that day.  (Spoiler:  The cockroach goes right down her throat.)  (Search for “Japanese Girls Try and Blow a Cockroach Into the Other’s Mouth.”  Note:  There’s no sound)

 

WIN THE DAY!

 

 

 

 

Tom Ain’t So Terrific!

brady rings

 

The NFL hit TOM BRADY with a FOUR GAME SUSPENSION for deflating footballs. The Patriots were punished, too. They lose a first round draft pick next year, a fourth round pick the year after that, and they were fined $1 million. The league either shot itself in the foot or just generated some massive publicity for the start of next season, because the Patriots are in the opening game, against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Thursday, September 10th.The next three games Tom will miss are a Week 2 matchup in Buffalo, a home game against Jacksonville, and a game in Dallas. His season will start with a night game on Sunday, October 18th, against the Colts in Indianapolis. That’ll be interesting, because the last time they played each other was in last year’s AFC Championship . . . the game that led to Deflatgate. Obviously, Brady will appeal. His agent says, quote, “The discipline is ridiculous and has no legitimate basis . . . I am very confident the [NFL’s] report will be exposed as an incredibly frail exercise in fact finding and logic.”

 But really,is it punishment if you now get to spend your ENTIRE Sunday in bed with Gisele Bundchen?

 

Tiger Woods Sent a Letter to a Kid Who Attempted Suicide

 

Tiger wrote a letter to a high school boy who tried to commit suicide last month because he was bullied about his stutter. Women’s golfer SOPHIE GUSTAFSON has been mentoring the boy because she stutters, too. And she Tweeted, quote, “Thanks so much [Tiger] for sending my friend Dillon a letter. He got so happy! It’s being framed and hanged. #class”

 

 

vince mcmahon

Vince McMahon is battling blindness . . . in a steel cage match . . . in next year’s  Wrestlemania 32. For what it’s worth the WWE is denying that McMahon is losing his sight….

 

 

 

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are

expecting their third child. Well, at least Cutler’s swimmers are pretty accurate

 

 

 

What Could Go Wrong? Lindsay Lohan Will Work with Children

 

lohan

LINDSAY LOHAN is going to work off her community service at a

children’s center in Brooklyn. Lindsay has 115 hours to complete by the 28th of this month, which will be virtually impossible if she doesn’t work a full day EVERY DAY until then. Wait, I m confused . . . is it Lindsay who’s being punished, or the kids?

 

 

Great news . . . your mediocre sex life is good for you! A new study out of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh just found that having more sex does NOT make you happier . . . even though we all THOUGHT that was true.

They found that couples that have more sex are actually slightly LESS happy than couples that get –it on less often. Here’s why  When people have lots of sex, it becomes part of their routine  so they don’t enjoy it as much, and sometimes feel like they’re just doing it out of obligation. When you do it less frequently, it means a lot more.

The researchers say, quote, “Instead of focusing on increasing sexual frequency to the levels they experienced at the beginning of a relationship, work on creating an environment that sparks their desire and makes the sex they do have even more fun.”

Another thing having more sex doesn’t likely make you? Married!