Monthly Archives: September 2014

YOU SUCK..LET ME PAY YOU MILLIONS!

CHARLIE WEIS

 

–Kansas University just fired football coach Charlie Weis.  He was also fired from Notre Dame a few years ago.  So his combined severance in 2015 will be $4.6 million, making him one of the highest paid coaches . . . even though he’s not coaching. Not bad NO WORK if you can get it!

 

–A 26-year-old stripper got NAKED in a luxury box at the Australian football championship on Saturday, and everyone could see her through the glass walls.  She said she did it because she lost a bet . . . the people who own the box say they didn’t hire her.  She was kicked out, then arrested when she fought the cops.

 

CLEVELAND BROWNS

 

–Three parents in Ohio left their children home alone a few weeks ago . . . so they could go tailgate at a Cleveland Browns game.  The five kids were all between seven and 10 years old, and called 911 when they got into a fight.  All three parents were cited for child endangerment. At least they didn’t ask Adrian Petersen to watch the kids!

 

 

 

51 years ago . . . In 1963, Houston rookie JOHN PACIOREK hit three singles in his first Major League Baseball game.  He injured his back and never played again . . . becoming the first player to end his career batting “a thousand” (1.000).

CLEMENTE

 

42 years ago . . . In 1972, ROBERTO CLEMENTE got his 3,000th and last hit for the Pittsburgh Pirates.  (He was killed in a plane crash three months later, on New Year’s Eve.)

 

 

CYBER SPOTLIGHT 

 

 

Two Identical Twins Run a YouTube Channel Called JacksGap 

Here’s another YouTube channel that’s huge because of your kids . . . but you’ve never heard of it.

Two identical twin brothers in London named JACK and FINN HARRIES run a YouTube page called JacksGap.  And they’re a great example of how a YouTube channel can lead to a full-on CAREER.

It originally started with Jack posting videos of himself traveling during his “gap year” after high school.  Then his brother joined in, and they now have 3.8 MILLION subscribers . . . partly because teenage girls LOVE them.

One of their most popular videos was last year, when they turned a room of their apartment into a giant BALL PITT, like the ones at Chuck E Cheese.  (To check it out, just search for “The Bedroom Ball Pit.”)

Then about a week-and-a-half ago, they announced that someone at Skype saw one of their recent videos, and hired them to make a series of documentaries.

They’re doing three short films about three different women who are all, quote, “empowered through technology to do what they’re passionate about.”  The first one comes out next month.

(You can learn more about it by watching their announcement video here.)

 

 

THE TOP SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT VOLCANOES

 

 

With a volcano erupting in Japan and Mount St. Helens showing signs of reawakening, we thought it’d be a good time to look at The Top Surprising Facts About Volcanoes.

 

 

 

An erupting volcano can cause many hazards, but not as many as Amanda Bynes behind the wheel of a car.

 

 

Inactive volcanoes have a 75% higher chance of developing diabetes than active ones.

 

 

Active volcanoes are filled with a scorching, deadly liquid center, just like Hot Pockets.

 

 

If you built one for a science fair when you were a kid, congratulations on being overwhelmingly unoriginal.

 

The last time a volcano erupted in Mexico, hundreds of buildings crumbled, and the country descended into chaos and lawlessness.  And there were also some pretty serious aftereffects from the volcano.

 

 

GEORGE CLOONEY IS HITCHED!

THE TOP THINGS OVERHEARD AT GEORGE CLOONEY’S WEDDING

 

 

George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin in Venice, Italy on Saturday.  Feel like you were there with this list of The Top Things Overheard at George Clooney’s Wedding.

 

 

Between Jeter and Clooney, two of the most prolific “scorers” in the world took themselves out of the game.

 

Sorry, folks.  The wedding is off.  George just realized his bride’s over 30.

 

After six weeks of married life, George will wish he really DID drift away in space.

 

I heard that’s not water the centerpiece candles are floating in . . . it’s the tears of Stacy Keibler.

 

They’re registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond Anything You Can Afford.

 

Thanks everyone for helping us celebrate our special day.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have sex with all your wives.

A BAD WKND ON THE GRIDIRON!

cortez

 

–Well Rider Nation how do you feel after that 24-0 beat down in Edmonton last Friday? If this offence doesn’t figure things out in a hurry the club will be lucky to win one more game. In fact right now it would be a huge accomplishment to finish with a 10-8 record and may be one playoff win! The last time the Roughies were blanked was in 1986 when they were blown up 56-0 by the Bombers… I have to laugh at everybody who throws George Cortez under the bus. He is now a senile guy who knows nothing about football, how quickly they forget! Well like Bruce Arians of the Arizona Cardinals says, “it’s a quick elevator ride to the s__thouse.”

 

Frank press conference

 

 

–The Regina Rams deserved a better fate Saturday in their only regular season matchup with the U of S Huskies. Let me set the scene: Noah Picton leads the team down the field with 1 minute to go and no timeouts. He completes 2 successive passes to Riley Wilson that moves the team to the Huskies 18 yard line with 27 seconds remaining. On the next play PIcton throws a corner route for the usually dependable Jarod Janotta. Unfortunately the sure-handed 5th year slot couldn’t squeeze an easy one and the Huskies intercept it to preserve the game 21-16. The Rams, who have lost 3 straight including 2 heartbreakers, now  travel to unbeaten Calgary Saturday with  their playoff hopes dwindling.

 

 

regina thunder

 

 

–The Regina Thunder saw their three game winning streak come to an end in a 20-13 loss to the Calgary Colts on Sunday at Mosaic Stadium.

The Thunder offense turned the ball over six times, twice on interceptions and four times on fumbles.   Quarterback Jaeden Marwick suffered a rib injury late in the second quarter and did not return to the game.

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS…

 Derek Jeter Got a Hit in His Last At-Bat . . . A Diving Catch Saved a No-Hitter . . . And a Football Coach Tackled a Guy Who Ran on the Field

 

 

–DEREK JETER ended his career with an RBI base hit yesterday.  It happened in the third inning of New York’s game in Boston.

After that, he asked to be taken out, and all the Red Sox players AND fans gave him a standing ovation.  (Search for “Jeter’s Final At-Bat.”  He gets the hit at 2:11, the fans start chanting his name around 3:40, and he tips his hat to them at 4:19.)

 

 

–The last day of the regular season also included a NO-HITTER by JORDAN ZIMMERMAN of the Washington Nationals.  With two outs in the ninth, he gave up a LONG fly ball that looked like it might drop.

But at the last second, left-fielder Steven Souza Jr. made a DIVING CATCH to get the final out.  (Search for “Souza Saves Zimm’s No-No.”  And there’s another good angle shot by a fan in the stands here.)

 

–And the other sports moment you have to see from the weekend is an assistant coach for Ohio State named Anthony Schlegel, tackling a fan who ran out on the field during their game against the University of Cincinnati on Saturday.

Schlegel used to be a linebacker who got drafted by the New York Jets in 2006.  So when I say he tackled the guy . . . I mean he TACKLED him.  (Search for “Anthony Schlegel Tackles Fan on Field.”)

Here’s a great tidbit from SI’s Peter King: Unless the Yankees one day have a player wear the number “0,” Sunday was the last day ever that a Yankee will wear a uniform with a single digit on the back. Derek Jeter’s No. 2 will be retired soon, and the rest of the single digits are already retired.

1: Billy Martin
3: Babe Ruth
4: Lou Gehrig
5: Joe DiMaggio
6: Joe Torre
7: Mickey Mantle
8: Yogi Berra
9: Roger Maris 

–  Even though he’s suspended indefinitely for injuring his son, the Minnesota Vikings are still selling ADRIAN PETERSON’s swag at their stadium . . . including an $89 kids’ jersey.

 

–Instant replay started at the 1960 Winter Olympics in Squaw Valley, California.  Judges asked CBS if they could review the tape of the event to see if a skier had missed a gate on the slalom . . . and that gave CBS the idea to show replays.

STAY FROSTY! BALLSY

 

BIG DAY FOR JETER. A HUGE WKND FOR THE RAMS

 

JETER

DEREK JETER played his final game at Yankee Stadium last night, and it could hardly have gone better.  His last at-bat, in the bottom of the ninth, was an RBI single that gave the Yankees a 6 to 5 win over the Baltimore Orioles.  The Yankees didn’t make the playoffs, but they finish out the season with three games against the Red Sox in Boston this weekend. Former teammates Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, Bernie Williams, Andy Pettitte and Tino Martinez and ex-Yankee manager Joe Torre lined up near the dugout to congratulate Jeter.

After the game he said, quote, “I’ve said it time and time again.  Everybody is chanting, ‘Thank you, Derek.’  I’m thinking to myself, ‘For what?’  I just want to thank you guys.”

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS:

Minnesota Twins pitcher PHIL HUGHES came within ONE out of pitching enough innings to score a $500,000 bonus . . . and he would’ve done it, if it weren’t for a rain delay.  The Twins offered to make it right by letting him pitch in relief in one of their remaining games, but Hughes wasn’t interested.  “Hughes said he was surprised that the Twins offered him a chance to reach the bonus, but said he didn’t want to risk injury.  He also said that simply being given the $500,000 bonus would set a bad precedent. (He didn’t want to risk injury?  By pitching one more out?  It’s not like the Twins are headed to the playoffs or anything.  After this week, they’re done until next spring. It also sounds like the Twins may have been willing to just GIVE him the $500K . . . and he’s just genuinely not interested in the money.  Which is kind of weird, right?  Why not just take the money and donate it to charity?)

 

 

A New AC/DC Song Appears in a TBS Preview for the Baseball Playoffs 

A TBS promo for their upcoming coverage of the baseball playoffs features a new AC/DC song called “Play Ball”.  It’s off their album, “Rock or Bust”, which comes out on December 2nd.  (Here’s video.)

As we’ve heard, it’ll be the first AC/DC album NOT to include guitarist MALCOLM YOUNG, who was forced to retire from the band due to an undisclosed illness. Yesterday, the Australian media reported that Malcolm was in a NURSING HOME being treated for DEMENTIA.  A source says, quote, “He has a complete loss of short term memory.”  There’s no official word on this.

 

untitled

RAMS HOST THE HUSKIES

The U of R Rams  host the U of S Huskies tomorrow afternoon at 2pm in the only regular season meeting between the teams. Both teams are coming off losses last week. The Rams fell 44-42 in Edmonton while Calgary knocked off the Huskies 38-24. Of course it’s the final time that Rams Head Coach Frank McCrystal will face Brian Towriss and the Dogs in a regular season game. Here are some other game notes:

UNDER CENTRE: QB Cayman Shutter was injured in the second quarter of last week’s game at Alberta after being sandwiched between Golden Bears defenders Cole Bishop and Sean Davis following an attempt to Atlee Simon. Shutter is listed as questionable for Saturday and will likely be a game-time decision against the Huskies.
WHO’S THIS GUY? After Shutter went down, the Rams turned to first-year QB Noah Picton in the rookie’s first real test in a Canada West game. And what a performance he had, carving up the Golden Bears for 432 passing yards and three touchdowns in two and a half quarters while completing 28 of his 37 attempts. His completion rate of 77.8% was the second highest ever in one game by a U of R quarterback, trailing only the 78.4% clip that Marc Mueller put up in a game at Saskatchewan in 2012. Picton’s attempt to lead the Rams back from a 16-point deficit in the fourth quarter would eventually fall short after a failed two-point conversion in the final minute. If Shutter can’t go, Picton will start for the Rams.
THE RICHARDS REPORT: After piling up 225 receiving yards last week – the second highest single-game total in U of R history – fourth-year WR Addison Richards now has 22 catches for 447 yards and four TDs this season. Richards leads the nation in receiving yards, leads Canada West outright in TD catches, and is tied with teammate Jared Janotta for the conference lead in receptions. Though we’re not yet at the halfway mark of the season, we should probably mention that the Canada West record for most receiving yards in a season is held by former Calgary receiver Don Blair with 1112 yards back in 1995 – and Richards is on pace for 1192.
JANOTTA WATCH: Fifth-year SB Jared Janotta enjoyed a huge game at Alberta, catching 12 balls for 154 yards and a touchdown. Janotta is now third in U of R history in both career pass receptions (161) and receiving yards (2056), needing 13 to pass Chad Goldie for second on the receptions list and 114 to overtake Jason Clermont for second on the yards list. Janotta is also only 20 receptions away from surpassing former teammate Mark McConkey for Canada West’s all-time lead.
BROADCAST ON 620 CKRM..PRE-GAME SHOW AT 145…KICKOFF AT 2….

 

 

HOW DO YOU STOP AN ATTACKING DOG?

It’s pretty much impossible to be tough when someone’s got you by the prostate.

Ann Bendouli of Melbourne, Australia was walking her one-year-old Jack Russell puppy Lexie last week, when suddenly, a vicious TERRIER appeared out of nowhere and ATTACKED.

The terrier bit into Lexie’s side, started shaking her, and Ann knew she had to intervene.  So she thought back to something she’d read about stopping a dog attack:  Go for the RECTUM.

 And that’s what she did.  She says she pulled the terrier’s tail up and JAMMED her finger in his no-go hole, quote, “right up to the knuckle.”

 

And . . . it WORKED.  The dog was so SHOCKED it let her puppy go. Lexie needed ten stitches but survived.

THE 3 BREAST WOMAN ONLY EXISTS IN TOTAL RECALL:

3 boobs

 

 

Everyone’s been going nuts over 21-year-old Jasmine Tridevil in Tampa, Florida, because she had a THIRD BREAST implanted.

It had “hoax” written all over it, but we all WANTED to believe it.  Unfortunately . . . yeah, it’s a hoax.  Here are the six reasons why . . .

1.  Some minor Internet detective work found that Jasmine Tridevil is almost certainly the fake name of a woman named Alisha Hessler.  Alisha looks exactly like “Jasmine” and she registered the domain name JasmineTridevil.com.

 

2.  On a website where Alisha advertises her massage services, she wrote that she’s a, quote, “provider of Internet hoaxes since 2014″ and a, quote, “specialist in massage for three-breasted women.”

3.  Alisha made the news back in December when she said she was attacked by a man outside a night club, and forced him to stand on a street corner wearing a dunce cap with a sign that said, quote, “I beat women, honk if I’m a scumbag.”

But when the police got involved, she never filed charges and stopped returning their calls.

4.  Alisha was arrested back in March for fraudulent use of personal information, apparently using a fake ID to get into a club.  That’s not necessarily proof of the hoax, but does help show her pattern.

5.  This might be the most damning evidence of all:  Alisha filed a stolen baggage claim at the Tampa International Airport earlier this month and one of the things she reported missing was a, quote, “three-breast prosthesis.”

 

6.  And finally, a plastic surgeon says NO plastic surgeon would give a woman a third breast . . . because it’s clear she would need a psychological evaluation, and performing the surgery would be unethical.

(Gawker / Buzzfeed / Snopes / Daily Mail)

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS:

If you think the NFL is blowing it on the issue of domestic violence, at least they’re not the U.S. Soccer Federation.

 

 

Remember when U.S. women’s goalie HOPE SOLO was ARRESTED back in June for allegedly assaulting her sister and her nephew?  Well, that was a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE arrest.

 

 

So, is Hope being benched while the legal system sorts this whole thing out?  Nope.

 

 

U.S. Soccer says, quote, “From the beginning, we considered the information available and have taken a deliberate and thoughtful approach regarding Hope Solo’s status with the national team.

 

 

“Based on that information, U.S. Soccer stands by our decision to allow her to participate with the team as the legal process unfolds.  If new information becomes available, we will carefully consider it.”

 

 

(Is Hope getting a pass because she’s a woman?  Is the message here that domestic violence perpetrated by a woman not as serious?  Discuss.)

 

Do you think the Riders will finish first in the CFL West Division?  A computer simulation says no! The computer predicts that Calgary has an 89% chance of finishing 1st.  Apparently the Riders have just a 7 % chance of being in top spot despite being just one game back of the Stamps with 6 games to play. That’s why they play the game on the field!

GONE VIRAL

 

In Honor of Fall . . . The 40 Funniest Falling Fails

 

 

Yesterday was the first day of fall, so there’s a compilation of the 40 best ‘fail videos where PEOPLE fall.  They’re all GIFs, but it’s still funny.  (Search for “40 Funniest Falling FAIL GIFs of All Time to For the First Day of Fall.”)

 

 

 

 Heavy Metal Plus Farting Equals . . . ‘Fart Metal’

 

 

A guy named Samus Paulicelli is the drummer for a metal band you’ve never heard of called ‘Decrepit Birth.’  And now he has another sweet bullet point for his resume when he applies for a job at Guitar Center:  Creator of ‘Fart Metal.’

 

It’s just what it sounds like . . . about a minute of intense heavy metal interspersed with sound effects of flatulence.  (CAREFUL!)  And Samus made sure to note on YouTube that, quote, “Every fart you hear is real and came from my own butt-hole.”

 

 

(Although to us, a lot of them sound fake.  Also, you might want to skip the part at 1:33 where he actually uses the toilet.)

 

STAY FROSTY! BALLSY

 

A WHOLE LOTTA SHAKIN GOIN ON!

If I mention the movie “Total Recall”, what’s the first thing you think of?  Yep . . . the alien chick with THREE BOOBS.  Well . . . it’s no longer science fiction.

21-year-old Jasmine Tridevil is a masseuse in Tampa, Florida . . . and she recently spent $20,000 to have a THIRD BOOB implanted on her chest.

She says she did it because she’s SICK OF MEN, and figured a third boob would make her UNATTRACTIVE to guys.  Which, if you know ANYTHING about guys, is clearly a WILD miscalculation on her part.  If anything, guys will now be MORE intrigued by her.

If all this sounds like a wild publicity stunt to get attention . . . you’re absolutely right.  Jasmine admitted another one of her goals is to have a reality show on MTV.

She says she talked to at least 50 doctors before one agreed to give her the third breast.  He couldn’t give her a nipple or areola so she had one tattooed on.  (Huffington Post

NOW LETS TALK ABOUT THE PERFECT BREASTS…..

Nothing makes talking about breasts sexier than ALSO talking about math, right?  (Like, for example . . . ADDING A THIRD BREAST!?)

KATY PERRY

 

 

Dr. Patrick Malluci is a plastic surgeon in London, and he just ran a study to figure out the mathematical formula for the PERFECT BREASTS.

 

 

His big finding is the location of the nipple . . . 45% of the breast is above the nipple, 55% of the breast is below it.

 

 

What does that mean exactly?  It’s basically a mathematical way of describing a breast that’s PERKY and not sagging at all.  A perkier breast will have more area under the nipple, a saggier breast will have more area above it.

 

 

The perfect breast also has a nipple that points upward at a 20-degree angle . . . which, again, is how a nipple sits on a perky breast.

 

 

Some celebrities whose breasts fit that definition of “perfect” are Scarlett Johansson, Kate Middleton, Miranda Kerr, and Katy Perry(Daily Mail

 

BALLSY’S EMAIL:

A Girl I’ve Been Seeing for Two Weeks Invited Me to a Wedding (Rating:  PG)

 

 

I’ve been seeing a great girl for about two weeks, so obviously it’s pretty new, and we’re not serious yet.

 

 

But the other day she called and invited me to her sister’s wedding.  I told her I might be busy that weekend . . . even though I know I won’t be.

 

 

Not only would we be going to a wedding together, which is a big deal . . . but her whole family will be there.

 

 

Isn’t two weeks of dating too soon for me to go to a wedding with her?  Should I tell her I can’t go?

 

 

Jeff, 27

(Hey thanks for the email Jeff, so readers lets help him out! How soon after dating someone did you have a big milestone . . . like meeting their family, going on vacation, or going to a wedding together?) Feel free to leave a comment…

 

IS THIS THE SEXIEST FEMALE CRIMINAL IN THE WORLD?

Remember a few months ago when that guy’s mugshot went around, and everyone said he was the world’s sexiest criminal?  He just got his first official competition . . . straight off the mean streets of French Canada.

A 21-year-old nursing student named Stephanie Boudoin of Victoriaville, Quebec just got arrested after a massive burglary spree . . . and people are saying SHE may be the world’s sexiest criminal.  (Her last name’s pronounced ‘Boo-dwuhn.’) And based on all the photos of her going around online, they may be right.  She has some bikini photos online and she’s clearly got a great body.   She’s also attractive . . . but we’re not willing to say she’s THE world’s sexiest criminal.  She’s ONE of the world’s sexier criminals . . . how about that?

She also broke into at least 42 homes and is facing 114 charges for breaking and entering, receiving stolen property, and illegal gun possession.  She’s due in court on November 17th.  You be the judge:

SEXY CRIMINAL

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS:

Many of the “Mighty Ducks” cast members got together to celebrate the movie’s 20th anniversary.  JOSHUA JACKSON and EMILIO ESTEVEZ were MIA, unfortunately

 

106 years ago . . . In 1908, the term “BONEHEAD” was first used . . . to describe New York Giants baseball player Fred Merkle, who failed to touch first base after his teammate scored the game-winning run on his hit.  The slip-up cost the Giants the pennant and became known as “Merkle’s Boner.”

 

22 years ago . . . in 1992, MANON RHEAUME became the first woman to play in a major professional team sport.  As goalie for the TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING, she gave up 2 goals in 20 minutes, and Tampa Bay lost to St. Louis 6-4 in an NHL exhibition game.

 

STAY FROSTY! BALLSY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT A DAY FOR KICKING!

jon ryan

 

 

Regina’s Jon Ryan had arguably his best day in pro football! The Seahawks punter’s numbers were unreal: six punts, 50.2 yards per punt, and a 47.7-yard net; only 1 of the 6 punts was returned for positive yardage. Ryan kept giving Peyton Manning long fields. And long fields in Seattle are almost impossible to navigate. Manning never led the Broncos to a score on a possession following a Ryan punt. Seattle coach Pete Carroll noticed, ” If there was anybody who was MVP, it might have been Jon Ryan today with his effort, because he had probably the best day of his career.” Ryan told me this morning he had a  special feeling going into the game. Jon said, ” Ballsy I had a gut feeling all week that it was going to be big day for me. The ball was just flying for me, a real good feeling.”   Off the top of my head I can’t think of a bigger Regina export in the sporting world!

GET RID OF THE ROUGE!

If you watched the Riders/REDBLACKS game yesterday you witnessed a truly CFL play. In the first overtime the Riders attempted a game winning field goal and missed, which Ottawa promptly kicked out and than Saskatchewan tried to boot back into the end zone. In Canada we call this “The Rouge” and it’s time for this ridiculous tradition to go away! The Rouge rewards failure: “Hey you missed a game winning field goal but it went through the back of the end zone…congrats you win! Give me a break! At the very least it’s time to change the rule, so that if the ball goes out of the end zone untouched there is no point awarded.

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS….

nfl logo

Did Baltimore Ravens ownership and management actively try to keep the RAY RICE elevator tape from going public and offer Ray a cushy front office job in exchange for his silence.. ESPN’s Outside The Lines just dropped a doozy of a story about the handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence incident. It’s a long and thoroughly reported piece, centering mainly on the Ravens’ end of the investigation, but the big bullet points are these: Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, president Dick Cass, and GM Ozzie Newsome actively tried to prevent the inside-the-elevator tape from becoming public. Cass, for one, had been told by Rice’s attorney that the video was “fucking horrible.” The attempted coverup reportedly extended to Rice himself. According to ESPN’s reporting, the running back believes Bisciotti tried to bribe him with a cushy front-office job in exchange for his silence.

 

There’s a crazy rumor that DENNIS RODMAN is going to the Middle East to negotiate with ISIS.  Obviously, it’s not true.

 

87 years ago . . . In 1927, JACK DEMPSEY knocked out heavyweight boxing champ GENE TUNNEY in the 7th round, attempting to regain the title.

 

 

However, the referee refused to start the count until Dempsey went to a neutral corner, giving Tunney an extra four seconds to recover, which he did, and he went on to win the fight!  (Ten people died of heart attacks while listening to the fight on the radio!)

 

 

45 years ago . . . In 1969, the great WILLIE MAYS hit his 600th career home run in a game against the San Diego Padres.  Willie ended his career with 660 home runs.

STAY FROSTY!

 

IT’S GAME DAY!

riders and redblacks

 

The Riders host the REDBLACKS today at 2pm in the final regular season meeting between these clubs. Before I give you some of the game day stats, I just want give my congratulations to the Chris Szarka and Reggie Hunt on their great Rider careers. It’s always nice to see couple of good people honoured for their efforts both on and off the field. Now on to the gridiron, here is everything you need to know about today’s matchup:

 

SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS: 

RIDERS RECENT DEFENCE: Over the last 2 games opponents have averaged 384 of offence compared to just 250 yards in the previous 4 games.

LAST TIME WITH 3 POINTS: The last time Saskatchewan scored 3 points or less was in a 17-1 loss to Edmonton on Oct10/11.

186 Passing yards per game: The Riders are averaging only 185.8 passing yards per game, their lowest average since 1967 when they averaged 185.1.

QB SACKS LAST 4 GAMES: Ricky Foley has led the way with 4 in that period; John Chick has just 1 in the last 4 games.

RIDER RECEIVING: In his last 2 games Chris Getzlaf has just one catch for 5 yards. So far this season, Getzlaf, Taj Smith, and Weston Dressler have just 56 catches for 741 yards.

 

OTTAWA REDBLACKS:

 

LEADS IN 8 OF 10 GAMES: The REDBLACKS have held the lead at some point in 8 of 10 games. In the 2nd halves of games, Ottawa has been outscored 125-50.

18 points or less: Ottawa has scored 18 or fewer points in 6 straight games. Before this season the last CFL club to be held to under 20 points in 6 straight games was Saskatchewan in Sept-Oct 2011.

NO RED ZONE: Ottawa has run just 2 play in the opposition Red Zone in the last 3 games.

EAST DIVISION ON THE ROAD: The East Division is on 2-21 on the road vs the West this year.

Be sure to check out my NEW internet football show, VIEW FROM THE SIDELINES with former Rider Mike McCullough and broadcaster Dave Thomas. It can be found in the Audio/Video vault.

 

 

 

EVERYBODY HAS A PRICE….

BILLY HORSCHEL

 

A pro golfer named Billy Horschel recently said he wouldn’t pass up a chance at the $10 million FedExCup bonus, just to be present if his wife went into labor with their first kid.

 

So a new survey asked, how much money would it take for YOU to miss the birth of your first child?  This is a question that’s mainly for men.  Because unless you’re using a surrogate, it’s impossible for a woman to miss the birth of her child.

Here are the results . . .

 

 

6% would skip it for just $10,000.

 

15% for $100,000.

 

17% for $500,000.

 

21% for $1 million.

 

23% for $10 million.

 

And 18% say there’s NO amount of money that could get them to miss it.

 

BALLSY’S SPORTS SHORTS

PEYTON MANNING doesn’t just do Papa John’s commercials, he also owns a bunch of locations in Denver.  And he says business is BOOMING . . . because everyone in Colorado is getting high.  He says, quote, “Pizza business is pretty good out here, believe it or not, due to some recent law changes.”

 

Patriots quarterback TOM BRADY posted his old résumé on Facebook for Throwback Thursday.  It includes:  His 3.3 GPA at the University of Michigan, where he majored in Business and Psychology . . . his two summer internships at Merrill Lynch . . . and previous summer gigs at golf courses

 

A Pittsburgh Steelers offensive lineman named Chris Kemoeatu had to retire after the 2011 season because of a kidney disorder.  And his brother Ma’ake  played for the Baltimore Ravens.  But after the 2012 season, when he found out Chris needed a transplant, HE retired early too.  He donated a kidney last month, and they’re both recovering. Everything went well, and both brothers are recovering.  When Ma’ake was recently asked why he donated, he explained that, quote, “I’m the oldest of seven kids.  So it was MY responsibility.”

 

 

GONE VIRAL

 

 

1.  A Soccer Player Scored, and Then Accidentally Jumped Into a Huge Hole

 

 

On Wednesday, a soccer player in Brazil scored a goal, and started running around celebrating.  Then he jumped over a small wall of ads on the edge of the field, so he could get to the people in the stands.

 

 

But what he didn’t realize was that on the other side of the wall, there was construction was going on . . . and there was a huge HOLE there.

 

 

So in mid-air, he went from celebration mode to PANIC mode.  Luckily, some workers helped pull him out, and he was okay.  (Search for “Soccer Player Celebrates Goal by Falling in Massive Hole.”  It happens at :15, but the best shot is at 1:05.)

 

 

 

2.  A Girl Yodels, Makes Her Chest Bounce to the Music, and Chugs a Huge Beer

 

 

Thankfully, the whole “neknominate” thing has come and gone.  That was where you’d record yourself chugging a beer, and then nominate two more people to do it.

 

 

It was bigger over in Europe than it was here.  Then it got dangerous, because kids were doing it with things like LIGHTER FLUID.  Anyway, we’ve finally found something GOOD that came out of all that.

 

 

Some woman in Germany posted a video of herself chugging a beer while wearing an Oktoberfest outfit.  But before she chugged it, she yodeled for 30 seconds, and flexed her pec muscles to make her CHEST bounce around to the rhythm.

 

 

(Search for “Neknomination Bavarian Girl.”  Thanks to Josh Golberg at WWHG in Janesville, Wisconsin for sending this our way!)

 

9 SENTENCES THAT WOULDN’T HAVE MADE SENSE 10 YRS AGO… 

 

2004 doesn’t SEEM like it was that long ago . . . until you realize it was a full DECADE ago.  Here are  sentences that wouldn’t have made ANY sense 10 years ago . . .

 

 

-  “They hacked into the cloud.”

 

-  “I use the hashtag ‘no filter’ on all my photos.”

 

-  “My Internet is down so I can’t watch TV.”

 

-  “When do pumpkin spice lattes come back?”

 

- “She unfriended me.”

 

-  “I can’t believe I got catfished.”

 

-  “I don’t know who’s a bigger movie star, Robert Downey Jr. or The Rock.”

 

–”I might get rid of my car thanks to Uber.”

 

–  “He’s making $30,000-a-day posting on YouTube about ‘Minecraft’.”

 

TIDBITS FROM AROUND THE WORLD: 

Cher reportedly complained that there were too many black dancers hired for her upcoming tour.  Apparently, when she says she wants to “Turn Back Time”, she means to the early 1800s.

 

Jimmy Fallon turns 40 today.  He doesn’t really need presents.  Every day that Jay Leno doesn’t take back the “Tonight Show” is a gift in itself.

The iPhone 6 hits stores today: Wow, it seems like only yesterday Apple unveiled it. I guess it’s true what they say, time flies when your self-worth is defined by a trendy piece of technology!

THE TOP THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR

ON A FIRST DATE

 

 

Maybe you’re going on a first date this weekend. It can be awesome . . . or it can be hell.  Here are The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear on a First Date.

 

 

 

Trust me, you’re gonna want to wear a condom when you hit this.

 

 

Hi, I’m in the NFL.

 

 

Do you speak Klingon, too?

 

 

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a TV star, but I WAS on an episode of “Cops”.

 

 

I gotta take this call.  It’s my wife.

 

 

My water broke.

 

 

Thanks to all the electro-shock therapy, I no longer hear screams at night.

 

 

No matter what happens, I KNOW I’m getting lucky tonight.  Because I just slipped myself a roofie.

 

 

And THAT is when I got REALLY into necrophilia.

 

STAY FROSTY!

 

Which Pro Team Has the Worst Fans?

Someone analyzed 216 specific sports team threads on the website Reddit, to figure out how frequently the fans of each team use PROFANITY.

BRUINS

 

They covered ALL the teams in the NFL, NBA, NHL, and Major League Baseball.  And in the end, fans of the Boston Bruins were the most profane . . . swearing at a rate of just over 1.6% per word.  Here’s the Top 20:

 

 

1.  Boston Bruins, NHL

 

2.  New York Rangers, NHL

 

3.  Miami Dolphins, NFL

 

4.  L.A. Clippers, NBA

 

5.  L.A. Dodgers, MLB

 

6.  Philadelphia Flyers, NHL

 

7.  Chicago Blackhawks, NHL

 

8.  St. Louis Blues, NHL

 

9.  Chicago Bears, NFL

 

10.  Pittsburgh Pirates, MLB

 

11.  Boston Red Sox, MLB

 

12.  San Jose Sharks, NHL

 

13.  Miami Heat, NBA

 

14.  Baltimore Orioles, MLB

 

15.  Carolina Panthers, NFL

 

16.  St. Louis Cardinals, MLB

 

17.  San Diego Chargers, NFL

 

18.  Denver Broncos, NFL

 

19.  Seattle Mariners, MLB

 

20.  San Francisco Giants, MLB

Which CFL team do you think has the most inhospitable fans? Before you answer Winnipeg or Calgary, Rider fans have been known use canes and throw batteries and beer cans!

 

HOLLYWOLF REPORT:

YUCK

 

Sources say AVRIL LAVIGNE and CHAD KROEGER are on the verge of divorce.  They met while working on Avril’s 2013 album together, but apparently, they’re not as attracted to each other now that they’re not in “work mode” anymore.  Chad is reportedly telling people it’s over.

 

 

Are George Clooney’s Parents Paying for the Wedding? 

 

 

It’s traditional for the bride-to-be’s parents to pay for the wedding.  But what if the groom is filthy rich?  Should tradition be damned?

 

 

Not in GEORGE CLOONEY’s case.  “Us Weekly” says Amal Alamuddin’s family is paying for most of their wedding.  Apparently, they’re, quote, “old-fashioned” when it comes to these things.

 

 

Don’t worry . . . Amal’s parents probably aren’t hurting.  Her mom is the editor of a Lebanese newspaper, who’s done TV interviews with dignitaries like Bill Clinton and Tony Blair.  Her dad is a retired business professor.

 

 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  LINDSAY LOHAN attended a magazine party in London with “Fifty Shades of Grey” author E.L. JAMES . . . in lingerie.  She posted a picture on Instagram and captioned it, “Blessed to have such strong, smart, encouraging women in my life.”

 

 

(The third woman in the picture is a celebrity stylist named Juliet Angus.)

 

 

 

2.  On a related note, here’s a collection of “Fifty Shades” tattoos.

 

 

 

3.  BEYONCÉ has been caught using Photoshop to put a gap between her thighs again.  Just look at the stairs behind her . . . in particular, the one that runs right below her crotch.  Remember when she tried this back in April?

 

 

 

4.  LADY GAGA wore a thong and seashells over her boobs at the Athens airport.  (Check out pics . . . and video of her soaking up the attention of the media . . . here.)

 

 

 

5.  ELLEN PAGE sexes it up a little bit in the new issue of “W” magazine.

 

 

BEN AFFLECK admits he was asked to stop playing blackjack at a casino because he can count cards.  He says, quote, “That is a true story.  I mean, that took place . . . The fact that being good at the game is against the rules at the casinos should tell you something about casinos.”

 

During last night’s “America’s Got Talent” finale, NICK CANNON wore $2 million shoes.  And magician MAT FRANCO was declared the winner.

 

On “The Talk” yesterday, SHARON OSBOURNE admitted she once cut her wrists to prove her love to OZZY.  This was back when they were first dating.

 

 

Matt Damon is in talks to do another “Bourne” movie.  The working title is, “The Bourne Desperation”.

CUBICLE

HERE’S HOW TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK….

It’s hard to focus at work for hours on end.  I mean . . . after like ten minutes of working hard, I usually head over to Facebook or watch YouTube videos of cats getting surprised by things.  So, good news . . .

 

 

A new study analyzed the best way for people to maximize their efficiency.  And they found the key is bursts of concentration followed by decently long breaks.

 

 

So if you want to work your BEST, focus as hard as you can for 52 minutes . . . then take a 17-minute break.  Get up, walk around, and stay away from your computer and your chair.

 

 

You’ll be able to fit in seven of those cycles in eight hours.  And if you repeat the cycle for a whole eight-hour work day, you’ll wind up taking two HOURS of breaks.  Even so . . . you’ll STILL get more done than if you worked eight hours straight.

 

 

The main reason is that our brains just aren’t built to focus for eight hours a day.  So when you try, you just aren’t working at your maximum efficiency.  By working hard for ALMOST an hour, then taking a decent break, you’re always at your best. Unless that 17 minutes is spent binge drinking vodka. (Fast Company)

 

SCOTLAND

THE TOP SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT SCOTLAND

Since Scots are voting today for their independence from Great Britain, we thought it’d be a good time to look at The Top Surprising Facts About Scotland.

 

The real reason it wants nothing to do with England:  Coldplay.

 

Famous Scots include Sean Connery, Craig Ferguson, and Susan Boyle’s mustache.

 

The Loch Ness Monster is a fantasy creature invented to sell merchandise.  Just like Kanye West.

 

No one knows exactly what’s in haggis.

 

The only place you can find more men wearing skirts is in West Hollywood.

 

Kim Kardashian thinks Scotch Tape and Scott Paper Towels are made there.

 

It’s home to the best whiskey in the world which is why it took over 300 years for them to seek independence.

 

THE CYBER SPOTLIGHT

 

 

There’s an Eight-Year-Old Kid Who Makes $1.3 Million a Year . . . By Reviewing Toys on YouTube

A lot of YouTube celebrities start making hundreds of thousands of dollars by the time they’re 18 or 19.  But here’s an even MORE extreme example of how you can hit it big super early being a YouTuber.

An eight-year-old kid named Evan is the star of a kid-friendly YouTube channel called EvanTubeHD . . . where he and his dad post videos of Evan playing with new toys and reviewing them.  Which is like a kid’s DREAM.

And from YouTube revenue, merchandizing, and deals with advertisers, they bring in an estimated $1.3 MILLION a year, which goes into investment accounts for Evan and his little sister.

Because of all the money he brings in, plus the amount of views he gets, Evan was ranked number 20 on a list of YouTube’s biggest stars earlier this year.

(You can check out one of his recent reviews for a line of R.C. cars called Air Hogs here.)

 

A Tiny Hamster Takes on Kobayashi in a Hot Dog Eating Contest

Back in May, a video of a hamster eating tiny burritos got huge on YouTube.  And now the same people who made it have another one . . . where a hamster races speed-eating champion Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest.

 

Obviously the hot dogs the hamster has to eat are much smaller though.  (Search for “Tiny Hamster vs. Kobayashi.”)

 

STAY FROSTY!